Silver Linings
by BlueBlood82
Summary: Sequel to True Blue. Six months later, Danny continues his recovery while Jamie and Eddie explore their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters.

Chapter One

"No! No! GET OFF ME!" Eddie sat up straight in bed for the second time that night. She had been having nightmares lately that were disturbing her sleep, but they had been getting more and more vivid for the last few days.

Jamie jolted awake and immediately reacted to the cries of the woman he'd shared a bed with for the nearly six months. "It's okay Eddie. I'm here, I'm here…no one is going to hurt you." He wrapped her in the strongest embrace possible and rocked her until she came back to reality and stopped fighting his grasp.

"I'm sorry Jamie," she sniffled. "I don't know what's causing it, I can't seem to shake it."

"I know, it's okay," he soothed. "Is it Jake? Is that who you see in the dreams?"

She shook her head, "No, not him. He was nothing. I don't know who I see or feel. There's hands…all kinds of hand on my arms, my legs…they are groping me and squeezing me. I can't breathe, my chest aches and I can't breathe. I can see you, and I'm trying to get there but I can't. You won't come for me, you just stand there and you won't come for me. I don't think you see me."

Jamie sighed, perhaps not being partnered was still rough on her. She was still assigned to Reynolds and while he never put her in harm's way intentionally, he underestimated Eddie's abilities and often left her by herself. Twice the tide had turned and she'd been alone when engaging a suspect. Jamie didn't like it but he'd never say a word, Eddie made him promise.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry that I'm not there in the field with you anymore."

"That's not it, I'm fine at work. I know if push came to shove Reynolds would have my back. I know that. I don't know why I'm having these dreams, Jamie." She looked up at him with shimmering blue eyes.

"I'll always be there, Eddie. If you are in trouble, partner or not I'm gonna find you. I swear that to you. I love you, Edit Janko." He leaned down and kissed her forehead then her lips. "Now, let me get you a glass of water and we'll try to go back to sleep, okay?"

Hesitantly, Eddie let Jamie up to get some water. She was shaking like a leaf to the point he had to hold her cup for her. "That's it, slow sips and even breaths. When you feel better we'll go back to sleep and dream happy dreams. Sunday dinner will be nice, Danny is home again from the rehab hospital, it'll be a party."

After his shooting six months earlier, Danny had struggled to regain the full use of his knee. Three weeks earlier he had finally given in and had the joint totally replaced. There was significant doubt about whether or not he'd be able to be a street detective again, but Jamie was determined to help his brother reach that goal. If he could pass all the tests, he would be reinstated. It was a loophole in the bylaws, Jamie had found with considerable effort.

"How's he doing?" Eddie asked laying back down inside the cocoon of Jamie's embrace.

"Good, he's weight bearing on that side already and is only using one crutch. Linda says right now his spirits are great. With any luck in another six months he's back to breaking heads and cracking cases with Baez."

"That's really great, and it's great for you too. I know how hard it's been for you to see him battling back from this."

He dropped another kiss on her head, "It was hard to see but we made a whole new relationship from this, we are so much closer now."

"There's always a silver lining with you huh?" Eddie yawned.

"Yes there is. My mom taught me that. How about you close your eyes and try to sleep, I'll be right here."

Eddie nodded slightly and turned to lay her head on Jamie's chest. She fell asleep quickly as she inhaled his scent and concentrated on his hand absentmindedly stroking her arm.

Eddie was exhausted when they pulled up to the Reagan family home for Sunday dinner. She'd dozed in the car and was not ready to wake up when Jamie parked across the driveway. "If you want, I can say you don't' feel well and I have to take you home."

"No, this is your family time. I don't want to ruin it. If I am too tired to stay for dessert I will get a taxi home."

Jamie opened her car door and held her hand as they went inside. Since they started to date, he learned that while Eddie was a very capable cop who could take care of herself, in her personal life though she was shy, somewhat insecure, and very ready to let him take care of her. He knew of course she would do the same for him when he needed it but Jamie secretly like this softer side of Eddie.

"Hey, everyone, we're here!" Jamie called out. They were first greeted by Henry, "Hello Eddie, how are you my dear?" Henry especially loved Eddie, he thought she was a great match for his youngest grandson. "Are you feeling okay, you look tired."

"Had a few rough nights," she replied.

"I know how that can be, you bring the images of the job home. I'm usually up all hours so if you need an old cop to talk it out with you just call me on my cell phone thing."

Eddie laughed, "Thanks, Henry." Frank and Linda greeted them next. Finally they made their way to the living room where Danny was watching TV. "Hey big brother, how you doing?"

"I'm good kid," Danny replied getting up smoothly. "How about that huh? New parts are working great already. Good to see you Eddie? My kid brother treating you okay?"

"He is," Eddie assured him. "I'm glad you are feeling better Danny. What's the score?"

Eddie sat down next to Danny on the sofa. It wasn't her turn to work on the dinner and she was too tired to pretend she knew what she was doing. Danny caught them up on the highlights of the game. After only a few minutes, Eddie fell asleep.

Danny laughed, "Way to go, Kid."

"What?" Jamie asked then saw Eddie sleeping on her arm.

"Oh, get your mind out of the gutter," Jamie scoffed and slapped his brother's shoulder. "She's having nightmares and waking up screaming three times a night. I wish it were the other but it isn't."

Danny sighed, "Take her up to your old room and let her rest."

Jamie was already moving, "Eddie I'm gonna take you upstairs," he whispered softly and carried her up the staircase to the bedroom that used to be his. He covered her and kissed her cheek. "Sleep well my love." HE prayed he would get the rest she needed, unmarred by her fears.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters.

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

With Eddie's plate safely in the oven for when she woke up, Jamie helped Erin and Linda clean up the kitchen before going outside to play a game of touch football with Nikki, Jack, and Sean. Linda went outside to watch and Henry to referee leaving Frank and Danny inside to watch Sportscenter.

"Is Eddie feeling okay?" Frank asked Danny. Perhaps Jamie mentioned something to him about why the girl was so tired. He was concerned, normally Eddie ate her weight in Sunday dinner and never failed to volunteer to help.

Before Danny had a chance to answer, Eddie's screams broke the silence. "JAMIE! JAMIE!"

Both men instinctively headed for the steps, Danny using his crutch as he hurried to free Eddie of her dream. Frank reached the door only seconds before Danny did, fearing his newest "daughter" was in real danger.

When Frank realized it was just a dream he turned to go and get Jamie. "Give me a minute with her Dad," Danny said sitting on the bed. "Eddie, it's all right. Wake up. It's just a dream." He shook her lightly until she woke up gasping for air, still crying Jamie's name.

"It's all right, it's Danny. Ssh. Jamie's fine, he's outside with the kids."

Eddie was shaking in Danny's arms. "I'm sorry, I…keep having them."

"From the job?" Danny asked as Frank pulled back to get her some water and alert his younger son that he was needed upstairs.

"No, I don't know. This one was the same as the last one. I was held down, being groped, and I saw Jamie. I needed him to come and help me. I screamed and screamed but he never came, he just stood there and didn't come to help."

Danny started to ask probing questions trying to figure out the source of the dreams. "When you were attacked last year, did you see the department shrink?"

Eddie shook her head, "No, that was nothing. I had Jamie, I worked it out with Jamie."

"Was that your first time being a victim of a crime?" Eddie nodded again. "You know what's funny? My hair, in the dream my hair is shorter…not like it is now, it's like I wore it in high school."

While Danny continued to try to decipher the puzzle, Frank poked his head out of the house, "Jamie, it's Eddie. I think Danny's got it but I know she'll want to talk to you."

Jamie dropped the ball and headed inside as quickly as he could, taking the stairs two at a time. When he got into the room, Eddie was in tears. She sobbed pushing at Danny's chest, "I don't know, I don't' know…"

"Danny, leave the room!" Jamie snapped as he came at Eddie from behind. "It's all right, I'm here. I'm here…You are fine. Danny, please you are scaring her."

"I'm not scaring, her, Kid, I'm trying to help her. What you're doing there is nice but it's not gonna make the dreams stop." 

"Well, questioning her like a suspect isn't going to make them stop either. Thank you for taking care of her."

Danny knew he was dismissed, he wasn't used to that from his kid brother. "She's got something locked up in there Jamie, until you find out what it is she won't get any peace. I know you like her needing you…"

They erupted into a classic Reagan argument at that, shouting at each other over Eddie's head. "You think I like this!" Jamie exploded. "For the last week, this has been happening night after night, and I can't do anything to stop it. I'm not the one that needs to control everything!"

"Then why won't you help her find out why…"

Eddie pulled out of Jamie's arms, "She is right here and I don't need either one of you to help me or do a damn thing for me. I'm fine alone, just like I always was."

She headed down the steps hoping to just escape and get a taxi to take her to her apartment. Jamie, of course was heading after her but Frank, who had witnessed the entire thing, put his hand up. "I'm going, you two did enough as it is."

Jamie turned back to his brother, "It's pretty amazing that you got up here. Thanks for trying Danny, but I know Eddie and hammering on her about anything just isn't going to help. She's a good cop, tough as they come, but when that uniform is off she's not like that at all."

Danny sighed, "She soft?"

"No, not soft. She's very insecure in her own skin. This thing with her old man, it embarrassed their entire family. Eddie was ostracized like it was her fault. She was bullied by her sorority sisters and the other kids in her school. Most of them had their families' savings stolen by her dad, but it wasn't Eddie's fault.

"Then in the academy, she was pretty, blonde, and had a good body so she was the butt of all the jokes or unwanted advances. She wears the uniform like a coat of armor. I was able to see around it and get in under it, but she's not going to let you in like that Danny, not yet."

"If I made it worse, I'm sorry. My gut is telling me there's something locked deep inside and it's trying to come out. She won't have peace until it does."

"Then until she is ready I will have to give her all the peace I can give," Jamie replied. "I can't have you hammering on her trying to break the memory open. I won't allow it, I'm sorry Danny."

Frank caught Eddie as she ran outside the house. She was crying again, this time from embarrassment and anger.

"You know my two boys, they have my temper," Frank said as he approached her." And when they see someone they care about in pain, all bets are off until they get it fixed."

Eddie sighed. "I'm not broken. I'm having some bad dreams, that's it. I had them on and off since I was younger. Never had anyone to hold me when I had them before, and I'm grateful for it. Jamie is the best boyfriend I've ever had. He's such a gentleman…too much sometimes." She blushed.

"A hundred years ago, at this family's table, one brother or uncle would have been a priest. I always said that if that was true today, that would be Jamie. Danny, I think he's like a guard dog in a person's body. He cares about you and Jamie, he sees you are hurting and he wants to know why right now and fix it right now so it stops. So he'll attack and attack until he gets the result he wants."

"I don't know what it is. It happens and as fast as it comes, it goes. This isn't the first time since I joined the NYPD that it has been a problem. They only reason anyone knows is because I wake Jamie up when I have them."

"Jamie's instinct is always going to be to protect, same as Danny's. Difference is Jamie would rather wrap you up in a little cocoon and chase it all away while Danny just wants to bust it wide open. My boys will never see eye to eye that way. Jamie has just a touch more of my Mary in him than Danny does."

"They don't have to disagree over my head and they don't have to talk about me like I have no say. I like it when Jamie holds me after, it feels nice, but I don't need him to do it."

Frank laughed, "No, you don't. You are an exceptional cop. I read your jacket from the academy the day Renzulli put you with Jamie. I saw how you had his back while the two of you were partnered up. You can handle anything that comes your way." Frank turned to face her, "But you don't have to. I know my son, he plays for keeps and that means that you have a brother and a sister and a dad and a granddad that will be in your life, ready to help when you need it."

Eddie had turned about sixteen shades of red. Over the six months she'd dated Jamie, she got close to the entire Reagan clan. They had welcomed her into their fold just like she had been born with the same blue blood as they had, but it was still difficult for her to see Frank in any capacity other than the PC.

"How about you come inside, Pop kept your plate warm. After you eat and we have dessert, Jamie can take you home and you get some rest before your tour."

Eddie agreed, and let Frank take her back inside with his arm around her shoulder. Henry came over to her, "Are you all right honey?" he asked. When she nodded he smiled, "Come on then, I have your plate all heated. You can sit with me in the kitchen."

Frank turned toward his sons. Jamie was helping Danny get down the steps. He could see pain etched in his older son's face. That hadn't mattered at all when they heard Eddie screaming, he had leapt into action, all of his cop instincts firing. His boy had to be a cop, it was ingrained in him.

"Breathe a little slower," Jamie coached. "Just lean on me and breathe a little slower so you don't pass out. Do you want me to get Linda?'

Danny shook his head, "No I'm good. Just need to sit down. Linda will yell at me for being on the steps."

"You're right, I will," Linda said coming into the living room. "Put your leg up now and let me see what damage you did."

Jamie let Linda tend to Danny. He looked up at his Dad, "Is she okay?"

"Pop is feeding her, she's gonna be fine. What the Hell was that Jamie, chest pounding like that."

"I'm sorry Dad, I told Danny too. All I saw was Eddie crying and Danny was just pushing and pushing on her. I know Eddie, if she doesn't feel safe with you, she'll lock up on everyone. I can't get through to her if she starts to shut me out Dad. I see her waking up so scared, I don't know why and she doesn't either. I don't know what to do."

Frank nodded, "You love her Jamie. You love her until she's ready to talk or able to forget. You love her until, Jamie. You love her until."

A/N 2: This story is coming to me as easily as Tough is. If anyone has some prompts or suggestions they are welcome through review or PM. Thank for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters.

Chapter Three

Jamie could clearly see that Eddie was angry with him. She was quiet on the way how and refused to let him hold her hand as they walked into her building. "Eddie, I'm sorry," Jamie said desperate to try to fix this before it got out of hand.

"For what Jamie?" she asked. "Do you even know?"

"For fighting with Danny and for not coming after you when I know I should have. My dad wanted to talk to you."

"You treated me like an object, Jamie. I expect that stuff from Danny, he treats you and Erin that way too when he's in his big brother mood, but I don't expect it from you and I won't take it from you either."

Eddie started to take her toiletries from the bathroom and put them into her overnight bag. "What are you doing Eddie?"

"Going home."

"You are home!" Jamie insisted and stood in her path. "Don't run from me, let's talk about this. I wasn't the one pushing you to talk about it, Eddie! I respect that you don't want to talk about the dreams."

"Yes, and I thank you for that. You devalued me, Jamie. You made me feel less than I am and that is not okay. I never thought you would make me feel like that."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I really am sorry. I saw him holding you and you pushing away…him hammering on you while you were crying…something inside of me just reacted and I went all caveman. I can't help you with the dreams yet but I could stop Danny from making you more upset. I didn't realize I would make things worse."

Eddie sighed and sat on the bathroom sink. "He was trying to help. I don't understand what's happening Jamie. It happens sometimes then it goes away. I don't understand the dreams. The only new element is you're in them now, maybe because I want you to protect me. Maybe because I'm scared you'll hurt me."

Jamie closed the gap between them and kissed Eddie's lips softly. "I'm sorry I hurt you today. I promise you I won't hurt you Eddie. I won't be like the other people in your life. I love you too much. Please stay tonight, let me help you through these dreams. Let me hold you when you have them and do all I can to make it stop."

Eddie leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Jamie's waist. "I'm scared. What if Danny is right? What if this is something that really happened to me?"

"Danny is bored right now honey. He's seeing a case under every rock." Jamie rubbed her arms and back, "But if he is right, we'll get to the bottom of it and we will get the people that hurt you. We'll do this together just like we did for Jake, just like we did for everything else."

His words were a comfort, if they were true. The nightmares were making Eddie question everything that she knew. Was Jamie really into this relationship? Or was he staying with her out of pity now?

Eddie felt Jamie's lips on her cheek, then moving over to her own lips. He kissed her gently yet deeply. "Come on…let's go to bed…I'll be right by your side all night long."

Eddie nodded and ran her hands over his chest, "Will you do something for me Jamie?"

"If I can you know I will," he replied.

"Make love to me? Please?"

They'd been together for six months but had not made love. They had decided to wait since they had gotten together during such an emotional time for Jamie.

"Not like this Eddie, not to erase bad memories…" He held her tight as he said it but he could feel her tense and pull back.

"Not to erase bad ones, to make new ones…I need you tonight, Jamie."

Eddied pulled back with big wide eyes, they were bright with emotion. He couldn't deny her when she looked at him with such devotion, passion, and love in her eyes.

Jamie lifted Eddie off the sink and carried her to the bedroom. He began to kiss her deeply, taking his time exploring her face, her neck, the valley between her breasts. Slowly he undressed her and showered every section of her body with attention.

Eddie shifted and turned their bodies so she was on top of Jamie. She smiled down at him, her blonde hair cascading down around her shoulders. She took her time returning his attentions until they were both more than ready to join their bodies in the same way their hearts had been joined from almost the day they met.

Jamie took control again and moved until he was directly above Eddie. He balanced on his arms and smiled, "I love you," he whispered while checking to be sure she was ready. "I love you, too," Eddie replied and raised up to meet him.

The next moments were magic. Eddie and Jamie had both had other partners, but each knew that this time, with this person, it was truly right. Jamie held Eddie close as they dozed into sleep. As he gave into exhaustion, Jamie offered a prayer for Eddie's peaceful rest. The answer, unfortunately, was no. Not more than two hours later, he woke to her screaming, not even words this time, just terrified and tortured screams.

Jamie quickly acted grabbing Eddie and holding tight. This time, the police officer inside of her came out and she began to attack him. She kicked, she bit, and she punched trying to escape Jamie's hold. "Eddie, stop it! It's me! It's Jamie!"

His voice finally penetrated her clouded mind. Eddie stopped fighting him. She was out of the bed, on the floor. She fell to the side and curled up into a ball, sobbing into her arms as the held them over her face.

Jamie joined her there, spooning up behind her. "Tell me…what did you see?"

She didn't answer him, she couldn't breathe let alone speak. Eddie held her chest as she fought to get enough air to remain conscious. "Eddie, try to breath with me. Remember when Danny got shot and I was so upset. You held me just like this and we breathed together. Try to breath with me. I'm not going to hurt you."

It took Jamie the better part of an hour to get Eddie calm enough to breathe without his coaching and to sit without his support. "Do you want to tell me what you saw in the dream?"

In an almost robotic tone she told him, "It's dark. It's wet and I'm running. My uniform is hot so I open the top of it and take a few deep breaths. Then it all goes black and I can't see myself anymore. I just feel hands and feet…and it's from all directions. I can't move or think…then I see you…You're far off and I call out to you for help. But you just kind of levitate in the distance you never come to help me. You don't even try to help me, Jamie, why won't you help me?"

"If I ever saw you being hurt like that when I could help you I would, sweetheart. I would shoot every hand and foot that touched you. No one will ever really hurt you like that Eddie. If they do, God help them when I find out who it was."

Eddie leaned into Jamie's chest, "I'm so tired…"

He nodded, "Let's go back to bed, I'll call Sarge in the morning, put you on sick call. There is no way you're working a tour like this, not with Reynolds."

Eddie didn't even argue with him. She let him put her back into bed and tuck the blankets around her. "Would it help you sleep if I sat up tonight and kept watch. Or if I got my weapon down and kept it handy?"

"No, just hold me. Lay with me and hold me."

"I can do that," Jamie responded. "Let's try a different position. Put your back to the wall and lay against me. You see, you're safe like this. To get to you they have to get through me. And I'm not budging."

Eddie laughed a little. He was adorable trying to make her feel better. The nightmares were that much worse this time around. Usually they lasted two or three nights. This was going on a week and only increasing in intensity. It wasn't fair. She finally had something that meant the world to her, she finally had someone who she believed truly loved her and this had to happen. She fell back to sleep with these thoughts on her brain.

The next morning Jamie made the call to Renzulli. He cited intense migraine and vomiting as a result of one of Eddie's crazy meals. "I'm already off today, I'll make sure she gets medical attention if she needs it," Jamie promised their boss who was worried about his young officer. "I think what she needs is sleep. See you tomorrow."

Eddie was asleep, so Jamie left her alone. He got up and went to his computer. He logged into a few sites he remembered the passwords to and typed the names, "Janko, Edit. Janko, Edit Agatha. Janko, Eddie." The only hits that came up were about her father and a handful of human interest articles about her in school. He prayed that these dreams were manifestations of fear and not hidden memories like his brother seemed to believe. His phone went off.

"How did he sleep?" The text was from Danny.

Jamie sighed and typed back, "She didn't until now. She's been out cold for eight hours."

"Maybe she's over the worse of it?"

"Hope so…" Jamie replied.

Famous last words…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters.

Chapter Four

For most of the next week Jamie and Eddie's rest was disturbed by her nightmares. Jamie would hold her when she woke up screaming but nothing helped. By Sunday dinner that next week they were both exhausted. "I don't want to go, Jamie. Go without me."

"Hey, if you don't want to go, we don't have to go. We can order pizza, watch movies and spend some time alone, just the two of us."

"No, Jamie. You go, okay? I just don't want to have everyone staring at me. My eyes are so black I look like a raccoon."

"You look beautiful. Listen I'll call my dad and beg off for today. It's not a big deal."

Jamie picked up the telephone but Eddie took it out of his hand. "J, please go to dinner. We can do movies when you get home. I really just need a little time to myself."

Jamie sighed, he didn't want to leave Eddie alone. She'd been in fragile emotional state since she wasn't able to get much sleep. Reynolds reported to him that when they encountered a runaway teen with a story similar to Morgan's from the previous year, Eddie had a really hard time with the arrest. Still, she was asking him for some time, and in the spirit of mutual respect he would agree. "All right, I'll only stay a few hours then, I will get us a pizza, I will pick up some Redbox, and we will have the best night in we can."

Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie, "Sound like a plan?"

She agreed it was a very good plan. Eddie flopped on the couch to watch TV as Jamie got ready for dinner. He'd gotten up early and gone to Mass so he could spend time with Eddie that morning. "I'll be back by five, if you need me, call me and I will come right home." Jamie gave her a kiss and headed to this father's house.

As soon as Jamie arrived he was bombarded with questions, "Where's Eddie? Is Eddie okay? Don't tell me you and Eddie broke up?"

Jamie rolled his eyes, "Eddie is fine. She wanted to stay home today and have some alone time. She is still having the dreams a few times a night and we are both pretty tired."

"Has she said anything else about what's causing this?" Henry asked. "Did it start for any particular reason?"

"No, we went over all her collars, we went over all her run sheets, there is nothing that should have triggered this. No sexual assault collars, no gang initiations, not even an honest to goodness shooting," Jamie replied.

"So it's something she repressed," Danny said. "We have to get to the bottom of this Jamie before one or both of you goes out into the field and gets killed from being too tired to think straight."

"Danny, leave it alone," Jamie said firmly. "Please, I explained this to you. Do not push her."

"Who's pushing her?" Danny asked. "But this is getting ridiculous. You sit there and claim that you love her, but you aren't trying to fix the problem. Sitting up with her and holding her isn't that."

"Well that's what she needs from me right now Danny!" Jamie was getting angry at Danny's criticism. "How I choose to take care of Eddie is between me and her. If she wants to go deeper, she will and I will back her up, but that has to be her choice, without influence from me."

Erin rolled her eyes, "Are you two going to fight every week now? Usually it was just once a month."

Jamie ignored his sister too and went to help his grandpa in the kitchen. "Am I wrong Pop? To just back off and let her steer this thing?"

"Well you know her best, you know what will set her off or not. Danny means well, he wants to help. It's obvious that the poor girl is suffering."

"I know he means well, but this is my relationship and I have to take care of it."

"Jamie, you are kidding yourself. If this thing between you and Edit lasts, and it's my suspicion it will, she will be part of this family and have her own relationships inside of it just like you do. You can't keep the girl in a box. Yes, you have to take care of your individual relationship with Edit, but if she ends up in a jam and needing support, you can't stand in the way of her seeking out other people."

"I know that, Pop. I do. And if she wanted Danny to help her, that would be fine with me, but she doesn't want that right now. I want her to fit in and feel safe with everyone else, but she doesn't feel safe right now even with me."

"Did you do any digging at all?" Frank asked coming into the room. He had run his own minor investigation but it had come up as dry as Jamie's had.

"Yeah, I ran her name through the computers on Long Island and here but nothing popped. I ran the MO that she's describing but we don't know how accurate it is. I think, or I hope, it's a fear and not a memory."

"What about her partner? Is she talking to him?" Henry asked.

"No, if she had a different partner maybe but not Reynolds. But he did notice that she is emotional on the job, told me, I appreciate that."

Dinner was announced as ready as soon as Linda arrived. She'd been working extra shifts to help with the uncovered medical bills for Danny's injuries. Jamie ate his food so fast he barely tasted it. As soon as the table was cleared, he announced his was going home to Eddie.

"Give her our love," Henry said handing him a bag of left-over food."

"Thanks, Pop," Jamie smiled. "I'll see you guys. Danny, I'll see you on Tuesday for work out."

Danny nodded, "Jamie, I'm just looking out for you, you know that right?"

Jamie nodded, "I do. See you Tuesday."

When Jamie arrived back at the apartment he found Eddie sound asleep on the sofa. She looked so beautiful with her blonde hair draped over her shoulders and her lips pursed as if they were just waiting to receive his kiss. He debated whether or not to wake her, she needed the rest.

Quietly, he put the pizza and leftovers on the counter and the two movies. HE went to take a shower and turn down their bed. By the time he came back out to the living room Eddie had woken up. "Hey, sleeping beauty. You were out like a light so I didn't want to wake you."

"Thank, I slept well. No dream. Maybe it's over for now. I'm starving, what did you bring me?"

Jamie set up a carpet meal for them, Eddie ate three slices of pizza and some of the left over Sunday dinner. They watched both of the movies laughing at all the same parts.

That night Jamie held his breath as they got into bed. Eddie fell asleep quickly and stayed that way until the alarm went off. Jamie was so happy she'd made it through the night without screaming in terror.

"You want to grab breakfast from the cart before roll call?" Eddie asked. "I could do with a big sausage sandwich."

Jamie laughed at her, "Okay, you win. I'm glad you got a decent night sleep." He kissed her cheek. "If we hurry we can take a walk before we have to report. It's a really nice morning."

They got their uniforms in the car and rode to the 12th. They had an hour and a half before they had to report so they purchased sandwiches and ate sitting on a park bench. When they were done they walked holding hands through the park. "I think it's over for now, Jamie. Listen, if you want to get out…"

"Stop it," he said quickly. "I do not want to get out. If we have problems we deal with it together."

Eddie sighed and leaned into Jamie. As they walked a runner was sprinting through the park and nearly knocked the pair to the ground. "I know him," Eddie said as he ran by. "He's the new transfer, came in from Westchester. "

"Oh, did you ride with him at all when Reynolds was off?" Jamie asked.

"No, and you know I hope I don't have to ride with him, J. There's just something about him that creeps me out. Maybe it's because he looks like one of my ex-boyfriends, I have no idea."

Jamie put his arm around her, "If you get paired with him, just tough it out. You are the best partner I've had and Renzulli well…he's a fabulous cop."

Eddie smiled, "I won't wimp out, Reagan. But he's creepy, I hope he gets transferred someplace else soon, that or I get used to him."

They walked another half hour then turned around to get ready for their day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Portions of this chapter deal with event depicted in Season Five, Episode Three. These events have been adjusted to fit this story.**

 **I'm not a review hound usually, but with the views counter broken, I'm wondering if there is interest in this piece. Please drop a line and let me know if I** should continue on this track, adjust things, or scrap it all together and try something else. Thanks

Chapter Five

"How's it going Kid?" Danny asked Jamie when he picked him up from rehab. "You look a little better."

"Yeah, since Sunday she hasn't had a dream and is sleeping peacefully. I think we weathered that storm for the time being."

"Good, that's really good." Danny gingerly got into the car. His leg was hurting and he had a hard time getting it over the inside step.

"Here, let me help you." Jamie bent and swung Danny's leg into the car. He flinched when his older brother groaned. "You want to get something to eat before I take you home? There's something I need you to help me out with."

When Danny agreed Jamie drove them to hot dog place in Staten Island, there was no chance of Eddie seeing them there. He wanted to talk to his brother about what she told him regarding the new transfer. After ordering two strawberry sodas and four chili dogs Jamie pulled out a piece of paper.

"This is the name of a new transfer into the 12th. He's from Westchester originally. I looked up the hire date, it's two weeks ago that he started on the job. That's about when Eddie started to have the dreams. She said he reminds her of an ex-boyfriend so I'm thinking maybe the two are related and if they are I want Eddie far away from this guy unless I'm the one between them."

"So you did decide to dig into it after all," Danny said clearly proud of his younger brother. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Run this guy, you have access to different sets of data than I do. See if he has a brother or something that might have a connection to Eddie. The guys looks wrong, and Eddie's not comfortable with him. I'd really appreciate this favor, Danny."

"You got it," Danny replied. "I'm on a medical but I still have access to my databases."

Jamie thanked his brother as their meal came. They started to talk about other things, Jamie's collars, Danny's therapy schedule, and his projected time to return to the force.

"So, we talked about everything else but you and Eddie," Danny laughed. "How is that going? Did you get THAT going?"

"Yeah, yeah we finally got THAT going and it's going fine," Jamie replied. "I don't kiss and tell, you know that Danny."

"I do, and neither do I. I only asked cause you mentioned it was taking a while."

"Well now it's fine. I wanted to take our time, to be sure Eddie was ready. She let me know it and I…was happy to take care of that for her." Jamie was now as red as his strawberry soda.

"I bet you were. There's nothing like making love to that special woman. I've been with plenty of girls before Linda and it was not even in the same ballpark, hell it wasn't even the same sport."

Jamie smiled, "You said that right. We better get you home and get your leg up. Linda will have my hide if you start to swell up on me. Thanks a lot for agreeing to help out with this thing. I feel like the guy is a threat and if he is I need to be ready for him."

As they drove to Danny's house Jamie asked his older brother another question, "Did you ever feel an urge to protect Linda or the boys? I mean really protect them with your life?"

Danny nodded, "Every day, Kid. That's called being in love. Welcome to the club, little brother."

Jamie smiled, he was in love with Eddie. He knew that very well indeed.

Jamie helped Danny get settled, "I'll see you Sunday, but if anything comes up let me know about it okay?"

Danny agreed, exhausted from his work out and the extended time out. He took a nap on the couch before doing anything else.

Two days later, Jamie was assigned to nights. Eddie was on swing and was leaving the precinct as he was coming in. They snuck a kiss in the locker room before she went home with her usual bid to "Be safe."

That night was rough on Jamie. He and Kara responded to a domestic where the perp was armed. They found the victim stabbed through the gut bleeding out. Kara and Jamie rushed her to the hospital themselves, she'd be dead before a bus could arrive. While they were unloading her, the perp showed up again to make another attempt on her life. Jamie battled with the larger man, ignoring Kara's repeated commands to "Get distance". Finally he dislodged the knife but not before receiving a heavy blow to the head.

Jamie and Kara got the cuffs on as blood ran into Jamie's eyes. Detective Mike Hoffman and his partner rolled up on the call as Jamie was walking the perp to his squad car. After much debate Jamie agreed to get his head looked at and let Hoffman take the arrest back to the 12th.

"I'm fine, Walsh," Jamie snapped even as the nurse was cleaning his head lac and preparing for it to be stitched.

"Yeah, you're dandy. You need stitched in your head, Janko is going to kill me."

"Damn it, tell me you didn't call Eddie."

"No, I didn't call her yet, but I know I should," Kara replied.

"There's no need to call her, I'm going to go home after this and I'll tell her about it. As soon as we process this collar."#

Jamie was good to go a half hour later. His head throbbed and he felt a little light headed however he insisted on going back to the house to process their collar.

When he saw Mike Hoffman's name next to his arrest Jamie nearly went ballistic. It was all Kara could do to keep him from slugging the guy. "Go home, Reagan. We'll go to Renzulli tomorrow and report the collar theft. Go home, get some rest. Take care of your head. I'll see you next tour."

Jamie smiled, he lucked out with Walsh as his partner. If he couldn't have Eddie, he was glad to have Kara at his back.

Eddie had just gotten up when Jamie came in the door. He slammed the door and threw his keys on the table. He was angry, Eddie could see it in his stance and his breathing.

"Hey, what's the matter honey? Did you have a fight with Danny?"

"No, I didn't have a fight with Danny! Why is it that I can't have a bad mood around here without you thinking I had a fight with Danny? I do more than fight with my big brother you know!"

"Okay, I'm sorry but face it, Reagan you are in a foul…" Then she saw his head. "Oh my God, what happened to you?" She hurried over to finger the crease on his brow where the cut was. "Are you okay?

"I smacked into a bus fighting with a perp, got stitches, it's no big deal."

"Why didn't you call me?" Eddie asked. "Why didn't Kara call me?"

"It was not a big deal, it doesn't even hurt that much." Jamie caught her hand and kissed her palm.

"Sit down at least and let me get you something to eat, so you can rest." Eddie hurried to get coffee going and made some toast. "Did the perp rabbit? Is that why you're so angry?"

Jamie sighed, "No, I'm angry because…Back in the Academy I was in class with this jerk, Mike Hoffman. He made detective in three years just like Danny, mostly by poaching other guys' collars, including mine. Last night, I was bleeding and Kara convinced me to get my head checked out and let Hoffman take the perp in. Come to find out he listed himself as the arresting office. So not only does my head get bashed in but I lose an attempted murder collar to boot. At this rate Eddie, I'm going to be a patrolman forever."

"Well, you should talk to your CO and report his guy, that is outrageous." Eddie sat down on the sofa beside Jamie and folded her legs under her.

"Not my style," Jamie replied sipping his coffee.

"Come on Jamie, this guy sounds like he's just the schoolyard bully. A bully pushes you, what do you do? Push him back."

"Yeah, I know," Jamie sighed. He knew Eddie was right. He couldn't let him get away with this.

"So what are you going to do?" Eddie asked.

Jamie looked at her and gave a wry smile, "Push him back."

"That's it, Jamie!" Eddie was proud of her usually by the book boyfriend. "Just tell Renzulli…"

"No, not like that…I'm going to think on this a little bit. When I strike, he's not going to know what hit him."

When they were finished with breakfast Eddie went to lay with Jamie for a little while as he dozed off to sleep. "Jamie, can you promise me something?" she asked very softly.

"If I can," he replied pulling her close to his side.

"Promise no matter what it is, you or Kara will call me if you get hurt again."

Jamie nodded his head. "Say it, Jamie. I need to hear you say it."

"I promise," he whispered against her hair then promptly fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. I am still feeling like I am struggling with this story. Please send along any prompts or ideas you might have for the characters and I will fit it into the basic structure I have for this piece.**

Chapter Six

"I wish I could have seen the look on his face!" Eddie laughed taking a long drag of her beer. She'd met up with Jamie and Kara after tour and listened with interest as they relayed the story of how they had gotten even with Detective Hoffman.

"He turned red as a beet," Kara relayed. "I thought we were actually going to steal the collar and process him ourselves, but I think this was better. The entire squad room was cheering."

Eddie smiled at Jamie, "How did you manage to pull that off?

"Erin got me the warrant and we did the rest," Jamie replied. "I think he'll think twice before poaching another cop's collar in the future."

"You two want more beer?" Kara asked. "I'll buy this time."

Kara went to get another pitcher of beer, Jamie slid his arm around Eddie's shoulders dropping a kiss on her head. "Thank you, you gave me the idea to get even with this guy."

"You came up with the idea," Eddie replied. "I just gave you the push."

"How was your tour?" he asked. Eddie hadn't been talking about the job very often lately.

"It was fine, today was rough. Reynolds, he is just such an insensitive jerk. We had this accident today where they had to cut the woman out of the car. All the while FDNY was doing it, he was taking bets on how many firemen it would take to lift her out. She as a pretty big girl, but she was actually hurt really bad."

Jamie took a bite of his pickle. "Well, you just have to be more sensitive to the people you're trying to help. If he has your back honey, then it's okay by me. Still if you want to request a new partner…" Eddie stiffened just at the though.

"What?" Jamie asked, highly attentive to her body language.

"The devil you know that's all," Eddie replied as Kara returned with the beer.

Eddie turned on a fake smile and didn't say another word about changing partners until she and Jamie were back at his place.

"You're frightened you might get paired up with that new transfer. What's his name?" he asked.

"Uh, it's Casey, Thomas Casey," Eddie replied. "And yes, I just don't like him, Jamie. I can't explain it, he just creeps me out. If I get paired up with him…I'll tough it out…"

"No, honey," Jamie said. "I know I said that but if you don't feel safe with your partner I don't want you getting into the car with him. You go right to Renzulli and tell him you're sick, then I'll do whatever I have to do…"

"No, Jamie, you won't. You won't use a hook for me, you understand? I won't have them thinking I run to my PC's son boyfriend for everything."

Jamie flopped on the couch, "Forget it, then. I'm trying to help you. I'm scared to death every time you get into the squad car because I don't trust Reynolds."

Eddie was changing her clothing as she argued with him. "So, what do you want me to do?" she asked. "Quit?"

"No," Jamie replied. "You're the job, just like me. I'd never ask you to quit. I just want you to be careful and to remember everything I taught you. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Eddie was in her nightgown now, she sat down on the couch with him. "I know. When I saw you come home the other night with stitches it scared me. We are both in such dangerous jobs, I know we each felt better when we rode together. Do you want to go back to that? Do you want change…?"

Jamie leaned over and kissed her deeply, holding onto her to him with a force that he'd never shown before in their relationship. As things started to progress, Jamie laid on top of Eddie on the sofa. His hands roamed around her body pulling at her clothing with a hunger he never felt before even with Sydney or Dana. "Eddie," he sighed against her mouth not realizing, at first, she had stopped participating.

Seconds later for Jamie and eons later for Eddie, she began to push at his chest. "Stop it…stop…"

The word registered quickly and Jamie did stop. Eddie was still trying to fight him off, "Stop…I don't want to."

Jamie sat up, "Okay, hey…look at me. It's okay, I stopped. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Eddie sat up next to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Jamie, I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" She tried to get up and run from him but was shaking too much to achieve that goal. She tripped and fell onto the floor.

Jamie didn't know if he should try to hold her or give her space. He chose space. "It's all right, Eddie. Don't run from me. Come sit with me, talk to me please."

Slowly, Eddie got up and went to sit on the couch. She was crying but Jamie was afraid to try to touch her. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm so sorry. I got carried away, I didn't think."

"It's not your fault," she sobbed. "I'm so screwed up I can't even let you love me like you want to…I'm sorry Jamie. I can't do this, you don't deserve this. I want to go home. Please, can I go home?"

Jamie took a deep breath. "Eddie, look at me." He reached out gently and raised her chin to make her look at him. "If you want to go home to your apartment, you can. I will never force you to do anything. I will never force myself on you. I love you so much, Eddie. I am so sorry I scared you. I promise you I will never do that again."

"Jamie, I don't know what I'm doing," Eddie sighed. "I was scared of you, Jamie. And I don't understand why…" She started to cry again and reached out so she could be held. Jamie was more than happy to oblige her. He gathered her close, keeping his hold light and gentle.

"Ssh," he cooed to her. "Ssh, I'm here baby…you're going to be okay. We'll figure this out."

"I don't really want to go home," Eddie confessed. "I love being here with you. Waking up in your arms and going to sleep feeling safe. I just…there's something wrong with me, Jamie."

"Eddie, the department has a very good crisis counselor. Her name is Grace, they call her Amazing Grace because she really is amazing. This sounds like a form of PTSD. It's something that maybe did happen to you or to someone you know and it scared you so badly you buried it. What do you think about me asking my Dad to help set this up in secret?" Jamie made sure he kept his voice soft and low.

"No," Eddie replied. "No, I don't want that. I don't know what I want."

Jamie sighed with her in his arms, "Okay, we don't have anything you don't want to do. I promise you Eddie, no matter what is happening or what happens in the future, I'm in. I am all in."

She sniffled and pulled back, "Me too…I'm sorry I freaked out. I love it when we are together, you're the best lover I've ever had because you really care about me."

"I do more than that, Eddie. Let's go to bed, get some rest. We will deal with our fears about the job day by day. I can work through my worries about you riding with someone else, all right? As long as we come home to each other at the end of the day, I can adapt to anything." Jamie said all of this snuggling her against his chest.

She pulled back, "You ready for bed now?" She smiled at him. "I think we should try again. It was really feeling good until I freaked out."

"If you are ready, sure we can," Jamie agreed standing up and taking her hand. "If you're not, that's okay too."

Eddie slid her arms around his waist, "How did I get so lucky?"

Jamie smiled, "I ask myself the same thing every day."

Hand in hand they walked to the bedroom. While Jamie showered Eddie brushed her hair and turned down their bed. When Jamie came out of the shower he found Eddie standing in the middle of the bedroom, her night gown discarded on the bed, blonde hair flowing down her shoulders. He didn't need any other invitation.

As they lay in the afterglow, entangled in one another's arms, she whispered against his chest, "I love you, Jamie. I don't ever want to sleep without you again."

Jamie rubbed her arm absentmindedly, "What are you saying Eddie?"

"I want to move in together, all the way. No more running, no more hiding, just us, together."

Jamie's face lit up with a smile, "I like the sound of that."

Eddie sighed, "Good, me too."

As they fell asleep each dreamt of their future together, a life and a family was something Eddie never thought she would have, never through she deserved, she'd been told that long enough. Lying here in Jamie's arms she thought maybe, just maybe she did deserve it and even more, that she could have it. That night, her dreams were happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. I am still feeling like I am struggling with this story. Please send along any prompts or ideas you might have for the characters and I will fit it into the basic structure I have for this piece.**

Chapter Seven

The happy dreams were short lived. Eddie woke at four to use the bathroom then laid awake the rest of the night listening to Jamie's snoring and the thoughts in her own head.

His touch had felt foreign to her, it had terrified her to have her own boyfriend, the man she loves, touching her. She had spooked him so badly when she fought him off she had no choice but to let him have what he wanted. If she didn't, he might leave her and she'd be alone again.

She rolled over and curled up into herself. She was terribly scared about what was happening to her. It took everything in her not to wake up Jamie and ask him to help her. She had been far too needy with him lately. She was going to push him away if she wasn't able to wake herself up and shake this off.

The alarm went off at six thirty and Jamie reached out to give Eddie a good morning hug. He felt cold sheets and got up to search for her. He saw only a note, "Went to pack some more clothes. Back before tour. Love you. E."

Jamie decided to go for a run and pick up some pastries for breakfast. He ran for a half hour before rounding the corner near his building. Jamie got home sweaty and headed for the shower after putting two cinnamon rolls on the counter. Eddie should be home by the time he came out. He was right. When he came out she was there setting up their breakfast. She has three boxes of her things with her.

"So I guess you're really serious about wanting to move in together huh?" Jamie asked as he started eating.

"Yeah, totally sure that I want to do this." Eddie sat on the kitchen stool. "So I was up last night thinking and I worked it out that it's either 820 or 775."

Jamie's eyebrows quirked, "No, square feet. Your place is 45 square feet larger so I think it's better if we move in here. It's a great place, just needs that woman's touch. That's in the boxes. Couple of throw pillows, a few dust collectors, and a valance for the windows."

"Anything you want, honey," Jamie replied. "I'm just glad you didn't change your mind." He sipped is coffee. "So you want to talk about what happened last night?"

Eddie knew he was going to push this, "I don't know. I felt smothered when we were on the couch, with you on top of me like that. I think it reminded me of Jake."

Jamie knew that was bull, "Or something else. Something bigger. Eddie there is something going on inside of you, something you locked up so deep and so tight even you don't know what it is." Jamie slid off his stool and went to stand next to her. "And whatever it is, it's going to keep eating at you and eating at you until eventually it eats you alive. I don't want that for you. I don't want to watch you suffer like this."

"Then don't," Eddie replied. "I can just take my stuff back…"

"Stop it!" Jamie said exasperated. "Eddie, I'm not leaving you. I love you. What do I have to do to prove that?"

"Let it alone, Jamie. I will work through it eventually, I promise I will. Then I'll be my happy, fun-loving, over eating self. I'm sorry I'm worrying you, but I will be okay, I promise."

Jamie let it go for now. Later that day he was meeting Danny, he hoped his older brother had some information for him.

"I'm having a beer with Danny when I get finished with my tour," Jamie told Eddie as he cleaned up breakfast. "He's really feeling down that his range of motion is still so crappy."

Eddie gave him a sad smile, "Give him my best and tell him that we might need him to get this place in shape. It needs a coat of paint and there's some chips in the cabinets…" 

"Whoa, whoa…" Jamie laughed. "What's wrong with the paint?"

That question was still spinning in Jamie's mind when he got off tour that day. It was an odd one to say the very least. He and Kara had taken in a homeless man for nearly wiping out a window with a trash can. They took him to the ER and waited over two hours before Kara pushed him to flirt with the female resident.

"Kara, I'm with Eddie, it's not right," Jamie replied.

"I'm not saying to go out with her, I'm say flash you cute little smile and get us the heck out of here. I want to make my kid's day care carpet time."

Jamie gave a wry smile and agreed. He came away with Dr. Jen's number and got their perp admitted for a 72 hour psych hold. All in all a productive day.

When Jamie got to Danny's house he has to wait about five minutes for Danny to make it to the door. "You hurting?" he asked his older brother and Danny nodded.

"Well, if I can't go back to the job maybe I have a career as a PI," Danny replied.

"What did you find out?" Jamie asked helping Danny to get to the couch. "Do you need a pill or something before we hit this six pack?"

Danny shook his head, "Bring on the brew…you're going to need it."

Danny pulled out a folder from the night table drawer. "Meet one Thomas Casey…transferred in from Westchester but before that he did a stint in Bridgehampton, his home town, ironically enough, it is also Eddie's home town. He went to Hampton High, same school as Eddie. He graduated the same year and was in four of the same clubs as Eddie and one other guy, Jordan Miller. The look pretty alike so I dug deeper, those two are cousins, inseparable."

"So Eddie knows this guy," Jamie sighed. "She's lying to me. She's telling me he scares her but she didn't tell me she knew him."

"Whoa, down boy. I don't think she's lying, I don't think she remembers. This Jordan Miller is doing 25 to life for aggravated rape and murder. My guess, he did something similar to Eddie and in order to cope she shut down."

Jamie sat back and though about it, "Yeah. Danny something happened last night between me and Eddie. We were on the couch and she was talking silly about us being better as partners, because I told her I worried about her. So I went for it, I pulled her in tight and kissed her." Jamie took a slug of his beer. "It got heated really fast, and I am all over her, I should have been more sensitive to what she says in her dreams. She pushed me off and fought me like I was about to hurt her. I swear Danny for a few seconds she didn't know who I was."

"Jamie you have got to do something," Danny warned. "One day she's going to have to ride with this Casey guy and if she's got all this garbage going on in her head she's not going to have her head on the job. Next thing we'll be digging a hole to bury that girl because she went into a hot scene distracted and thinking she has to fight for herself."

"What am I going to do? I asked her if she wanted to get some help. That we'd ask Dad for help and do it on the quiet but she said no. We don't even know if they did anything to her, we don't know Danny."

Danny sighed, "Her old man is still incarcerated isn't he?"

"Danny, she will kill me if I do that. It'll be invading her privacy and betraying her trust!" Jamie stood up and paced. He wanted to help Eddie so much but her trust was a gift, she didn't give it easily.

"You'll be helping her out and saving her life," Danny countered. "We'll ride out together, tell him what's going on, and if there is something that happened he can tell us so we can help her."

"I have to think about it Danny but if she doesn't open up to me soon, I think you are probably right."

Jamie finished his beer. "So you said you wanted me to do some extra workouts with you. What do you need me to do?"

Danny explained how he wanted Jamie to help him start to force his knee to move. It was perpetually frozen and Linda didn't have the heart to push him. Jamie agreed, it was a brother thing, as long as Danny felt he could do it, he would back him up.

Jamie took Danny's brace off and they did ten reps with his bad leg. Danny was soaked by the time it was over but said he knee felt much looser. When Jamie left, Danny was on the sofa with Jack and Sean watching TV. Jamie made sure everyone was fed so Linda could relax when she got home.

Eddie was already at the apartment when Jamie got there. She was in his sweats lying on the sofa. "Hey, pretty girl,' she said kneeling beside her. "Danny says hi."

Eddie smiled, "How is he after some bromance?"

"He's okay, I am going over three times a week to help him with his knee. He has to have a set range of motion even try to get back on the job and I promised I'd help him."

Eddie caressed Jamie's face, "I know you will. You helped me already so much."

"I don't think I helped you enough, not yet," Jamie replied. He reached over to brush her hair off her face. That's when she saw it…Jen 212-555-7772. Suddenly Eddie sat up and pulled away.

"Who the hell is Jen?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. I am still feeling like I am struggling with this story. Please send along any prompts or ideas you might have for the characters and I will fit it into the basic structure I have for this piece.**

Chapter Eight

Jamie's face turned bright red. He didn't remember that Dr. Jen had tattooed his wrist with her phone number. He never planned to use it, but Eddie had seen it, now he was in deep trouble.

"She's uh…" How did he word this? That last thing he wanted to do was shatter a very fragile trust. "She's this doctor at St. Ben's. Walsh and I took a perp there today."

"Okay, so a doctor at St. Ben's just happened to what, miss her prescription pad and write all over your arm!" Eddie got up off the couch. She was livid with Jamie, and hurt beyond anything she thought she could feel.

"Eddie, it's not like that okay? I flirted with her to get her to take our perp so Walsh and I could get out of there, that's all. It wasn't even my idea!"

"It wasn't my idea! I was only flirting!" Eddie exploded. "No, you were only lying and cheating and wishing you were with a woman that wasn't me! That would let you put your hands all over her! It's my fault, right!"

"Eddie, no!" Jamie desperately tried to stop the pacing that she was doing. "Eddie, stop…I would never cheat on you, I would never lie to you. Ever! Whatever the problem is, whatever you are going through, I'm going to be there for you."

"Then why did you do this? Why are you wearing that woman's number on your arm? If it meant nothing you'd have washed it off." Eddie stopped her pacing and sunk on the couch. "You thought about using it at least."

"I didn't care about it, Eddie. I didn't think about it after she wrote it down. All I thought about was helping Danny and coming home to you," Jamie replied sitting down next to her. "Come here…please."

Eddie shrunk back from him, he hurt her, just like everyone else.

"Eddie, I'm sorry. This isn't about me though, sweetie. It's about you and your fear. There's nothing to be scared of with me. I won't hurt you and I won't betray you. I'm going to shower, I'm going to wash this number off my arm, and then I'm taking my best girl for a drink." Jamie leaned over and forced a kiss on her lips.

Eddie put her hands up and pushed Jamie away. Jamie took a breath, "Put on your jeans and a shirt, we are going out in half an hour."

Jamie headed to the shower and scrubbed his arm nearly raw trying to remove that phone number. When it was barely detectable Jamie came out and put on jeans and a polo shirt. "Eddie, you ready?" There was no answer. "Hey Eddie?"

She was gone. There was no note, but her overnight bag was gone. "Damn it!" Jamie swore and tossed his shoe across the room. He'd upset her that much that she felt she has to leave. He sat down on the bed and sighed.

Jamie felt like he was going in blind. He didn't know if he should go after her or give her space. Danny's investigation left him with more questions than answers. If only he knew what had happened to her to scare her so badly. He knew the catalyst now, the arrival of Thomas Casey. Did she remember who Casey was and lie about it? Or had something so horrific happened that she blocked out everyone and everything involved. Eddie's mind did that before and it nearly got her fired.

While Jamie sat and contemplated his next move, he heard the door open. "Eddie!" he called out. He hurried to the living room and saw Eddie standing there. "I got halfway to my apartment and I…" She was shaking and pale.

"What happened?" Jamie hurried to Eddie's side. "He's out there, Casey…he was outside the building and he was behind me in the car…"

"Stay here!" Jamie commanded and went outside. Sure enough Casey was in his car. He started to move when he saw Jamie, though he underestimated Jamie's ability to run. He caught up to the car at a stop sign and grabbed the open window frame. "What do you want with her, Casey?" Jamie barked.

"Want with who?" Casey asked.

"Eddie, you followed her home, you followed her back here and you scared her. I know all about your cousin, I know what he did. I suspect you knew more about it than you cared to admit when he got collared for rape and murder. Maybe you are assuaging your guilt! Maybe you let him take the fall! I don't know! What I do know is if you so much as blink in Eddie's direction again you are going to deal with me! If you want to get within an inch of her, you are going to go through me!"

Casey reacted to Jamie's threat without a word. He hit the window button and rolled the window up while Jamie's hand was still gripping the frame.

Jamie cried out in pain and pulled back his hand. Three of his fingers were bleeding and already swelling. Cursing Casey and himself for not thinking this could potentially happen, he headed inside. "Eddie! I need you to drive me to the emergency room. That jerk closed his window on my hand."

Eddie's eyes are horrified at the blood running down Jamie's arm. "Oh my God!" Eddie ran to the cabinet to get towels and wrapped his hand and arm before leading him to the car and flooring it to St. Benjamin's, her previous anger forgotten.

Jamie sat in the waiting room with his hand elevated while they waited for medical treatment. He spotted Jen going to check the board for new patients and wanted to crawl into a hole. This could not get any worse, then he was called. "Jamison Reagan…Dr. Bennett will see you."

"Uh, Eddie, that…the doctor that is going to see me, it's Jen," Jamie confesses.

"Well, if you did tell me the truth, there's no reason to worry. Come on, you are still bleeding all over your towel." Eddie held Jamie's good hand as they walked back. "Well twice in one…"

"Dr. Bennett, this is my girlfriend, Edit Janko. Eddie, Dr. Bennett helped Walsh and me out earlier today."

"And now it seems I'll be helping you out again, let's get a look at this hand." Jen unwrapped the towel and saw the three open fractures of Jamie's fingers. "Wow, you did a great job on this hand. Three open breaks…they'll need to be set and stitched at the very least." She wrapped his hand in bandages and laid it on pillows. "I'm going to order an X-ray and an orthopedic consult to determine if you need to have those fingers repaired surgically."

Jamie looked over at Eddie, she was getting upset. "Jamie, I'm sorry…"

"Eddie, I was the one who put my hand on his window and threatened him, I did this." Jamie squeezed her hand with his good one. "It's okay, sweetie, I promise. In a few hours I'll be good as new I promise."

Jamie rested and let the pain medication the doctor injected take effect. Eddie accompanied him to X-ray and held his good hand while the doctor set his fingers and sewed up the wounds in the skin. It was three hours instead of one but they left the hospital with Jamie's hand no longer bleeding, in a soft cast with bandages on his fingers.

"What were you thinking?" Eddie asked as they arrived back at his apartment. "Running out there like that?"

"I was thinking this guy is messing with my girlfriend, scaring her more than she already is and I was going to put a stop to it." Jamie flopped on the couch and sighed. "There's something going on with you Eddie, you and I both know that. Whatever it is, you've locked it all away and it wants out, sweetheart. I know you can't right now, I know you aren't ready so until you are I'm going to make everything you do as easy and as safe as possible." Jamie reached out for her to come closer. "Come here honey, please."

Eddie sat beside him and let him pull her in close. "Promise me you won't go on the job distracted. Promise me I won't…I won't stand a cop funeral and have it be yours."

There emotion in his voice is raw, it pulled at Eddie's heart strings. "I promise you…" she replied softly. "Now promise me…"

"I promise you," Jamie echoed and kissed her lips softly. "I love you."

That night Jamie kept Eddie in his arms as they slept, but it did nothing to ward off the dreams. She didn't wake crying this time, or if she did Jamie was too drugged to hear her. This time he woke to the shower running and steam coming from underneath the door.

Jamie shot up and knocked, "Eddie, let me it! Let me it, it's Jamie." She didn't answer him no matter how much he called. Finally he charged the door breaking it right off the hinge. The steam hit him in the face, temporarily keeping him from the chilling sight in the bathtub. "Oh my God!" Jamie gasped rushing to the tub. "Oh my God, Eddie!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. I am still feeling like I am struggling with this story. Please send along any prompts or ideas you might have for the characters and I will fit it into the basic structure I have for this piece.**

Chapter Nine

Jamie rushed into the bathroom, "Eddie what are you doing?" He reached up and turned off the spray. She was only in her little night gown, her skin was bright red and she was shaking. "I'm going to get you out okay?"

Jamie stooped and picked Eddie up. He could see her skin had been scorched by the hot water. Quickly he laid Eddie on the bed. She was shaking so badly, he knew he had to get her help.

"Eddie, I'm going to call for a bus," Jamie told her gently. "You hurt yourself." He didn't want to do this to her, if they made a report and they investigated her career was over. Still she was burned.

"I had to," Eddie replied in the smallest of voices. "I had to make it stop."

Jamie sighed and dialed Danny's house.

"Hey, Kid," Danny said. "What's wrong? It's five in the morning."

"Danny, I need Linda," Jamie said his voice tight with tears. "Eddie, she…I think she had a dream but I didn't hear her. She went into the shower and she burned herself pretty bad."

"Call a bus," Danny said. "She needs help."

"I can't call a bus, if I do and they find out it can ruin her. Please, Danny let Linda check on her." Jamie was desperate. Eddie was shaking and her skin was already red and radiating heat.

"All right, she's going to be there, okay Kid?" Danny soothed. "You have to calm down right now. I know you're freaked she'd do something like this, but she needs you. When she feels better, in a day or so after the burns heal…we are going to take a drive to see her old man and…"

"Jamie…" Eddie called from the bed. "I'm okay I don't need a bus."

"I have to go now, Danny. I'll see you Friday for our workout…thanks for your help big brother," Jamie said the hung up.

"Linda is going to come over and check you over," Jamie told her going to the drawer where he kept his clean linens. He soaked one in cool water then wrapped it around Eddie's body. "We have to cool the burns, sweetheart." He held her gently as she was encased in the sopping wet sheet. "Tell me what happened?"

Eddie looked at him, still terribly shaken up. "I had a dream and I tried to wake you…but…I felt so dirty, I just wanted to get them off of me!"

"Who is them, baby?" Jamie asked rocking slowly, keeping his voice so gentle it wouldn't scare a fly.

"I don't know, I swear I don't know." Eddie looked at him with eyes as wide as saucers. "Jamie, I am so scared…Please…Please, promise you won't…I need you…I don't think I can function anymore."

Jamie held her a little tighter trying not to hurt her burned skin. "I promise I will help you, Eddie. I promise I will do anything it takes."

Linda arrived twenty minutes later. "How is she doing?" she asked. She had cream and aloe with her. "She's lying down. I put a sheet on her with cool water but some of the spots are blistering already. Some of the burns are just like a sunburn but a few look bad around her back and her shoulders."

Linda nodded and went into the bedroom. "How you doing, Eddie?" she asked. "Danny said you had an accident. Let's take a look." Slowly Linda unwrapped the sheet and examined Eddie's skin. "I don't see anything too terrible but you're going to be sore for a few days."

Eddie sighed, "I'm sorry to be such trouble, thanks for coming."

"It's no trouble, that's what family does. You were there for Jamie when Danny got shot, you helped get the man that shot him. I'm in debt to you, Eddie," Linda offered. "Most of this will heal in a week or so, there shouldn't be any blistering more than a sunburn. The ones on your shoulders are a little worse and your back that might blister. Do you feel sick at all?"

"A headache and a little nauseated," Eddie replied. "I'm dizzy too."

"That's the heat…Jamie, I want you to make sure she drinks plenty of water. Keep her body temperature down and apply the aloe and cream to her skin every four hours. Ibuprofen should help with the pain and swelling. If she runs a fever or vomits more than a couple of times, call me then get her to a hospital." Linda was firm on this.

"I'll watch her through the day, yeah but I work tonight," Jamie sighed. "She's going to have to bang in sick until tomorrow at least, right?"

Linda nodded, "She won't be able to dress for a couple days her skin is so tender. You can get a bad burn like that from a tanning bed."

Jamie smiled at her, "Thanks Linda. Tell Danny I'll see him Friday and tell him…" Jamie looked at Eddie. His strong wonderful partner was turning into a scared little girl piece by piece. He was losing her slowly as she was eaten alive by her demons. "Tell him to set up the trip, he'll know what I mean."

When Linda was gone, Jamie laid down on the bed with Eddie. His hand throbbed but right now she was his focus. "Do you need pain pills or …anything I can get you?"

Eddie shook her head then, "Maybe the trash can my stomach is all crazy."

Jamie left a lined can near her bedside, "There, drink some of this." He gave her a bottle of water. "You need to get all of that down you, okay? The burns will dehydrate you."

"I'm sorry, Jamie," Eddie murmured softly. "I'm so sorry I did this. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Please God, someone help me," Jamie replied softly. "That is what you were thinking. You need help, sweetie. Something happened and Thomas Casey showing up made it all come to the surface, but for some reason, probably fear, you just can't seem to unlock that memory."

Eddie looked at him with terror in her eyes, "I can't. Jamie, I don't know what's inside there…I don't know if I can deal with…"

"Eddie, you have to," Jamie said softly. "You really have to get this up and out so you can move on. It's affecting your entire life. You are freezing up on me, you aren't letting me make love to you, not really, and that I can live with. You are freezing on the job, honey. I could lose you because of this. If you don't care enough for yourself to get it fixed, please, Eddie, think of what it will be like for me to stand at your funeral and take your folded flag. I don't know if I can survive that. I barely made it through the last time."

Jamie's voice caught and he turned his back to Eddie. He didn't want her to see him cry. He didn't want to pressure her into doing something she wasn't ready to do. "I'm sorry, Jamie. Please…" Eddie sat up and put her hand on his back. It was shaking. "Don't cry. I'll be more alert and careful, I promise."

"I need you to get help, Eddie," Jamie said turning now that she knows he is crying. "Please, if you won't for you…for me. For us. Please."

Eddie sighed and swallowed hard. "Okay," she said softly. "Okay, I will get some help. I don't know if I can even really remember. I don't know if I want to remember. I love you so much, Jamie. I will call around and find a doctor that can help. Will you come with me?" Eddie asked in a small voice. "When I find a person to see, will you be there?"

Jamie nodded slowly, "Of course I will be there. I will be in the waiting room, in the office, in the car, wherever you need me to be. I will hold your hand or sit in the corner…We are in this together, I meant that, Eddie."

Eddie reached up and caressed Jamie's cheek. "I know you mean it, Jamie." She kissed him softly on the lips but nausea turned her stomach. She turned and threw up into the can Jamie put by the bed.

That went on through the day and into the night. Eddie was in pain and the heat was wreaking havoc with her head and her stomach. Jamie tried to make her feel better with cool compresses, water and lukewarm cups of tea. She fell asleep about 8:30 that night. As she slept, Jamie called Danny, "Set it up for the end of the week," Jamie told him. "She says she's ready to get help, but I can't take any more chances with her safety. Today was the final straw. We'll ride up together and get to the bottom of this, once and for all…"


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Please let me know your thoughts on this piece and Tough. I see I have readers but I don't know your thoughts so please share. This piece is still open so any ideas or comments may be used. If your review is signed you will be credited.**

Chapter Ten

Eddie healed well over the next few days but the nightmares were back with a vengeance. Neither she nor Jamie had a decent night sleep for three days. At Sunday dinner, neither one ate very much. Eddie tried to laugh and smile but she was drained of energy.

"Are you feeling all right, Sweetheart?" Henry asked her as she helped clear the plate.

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "I'm just really tired. Jamie's been working a different tour than me and I guess I'm getting used to being in a cop to cop relationship."

"You worry?" Henry asked and Eddie immediately nodded her head. "Oh yes, I do. I worry a lot about Jamie and I know he worries about me especially with the nightmares."

"If you want you can stay here, I'm up all hours and can help you with the dreams," Henry offered. He could be a sweetie.

"Thanks," Eddie smiled. "But I need to do this on my own, or with Jamie. He says we have to do those things now."

"He's good boy," Henry tells her. "You take care of yourself."

Eddie and Jamie left before dessert was over. "Why don't you try the sofa honey?" Jamie asked. "If you need me to I'll sit on the floor and your hold hand. I can sleep anywhere but we both need rest."

"No, I'm just going to sit up so you can rest. I have called three therapists and they all say they can't see me until next month. I can't do this for a month, Jamie. I can't."

"I know and you won't have to. I'll talk to my dad and to Danny. He saw an anger management therapist once and he might be able to get a name of someone that will can you."

Eddie nodded, "That's good; I need this to stop. I have to stop being scared but until I know what I'm scared of how can I?"

Jamie nodded agreeing she had a point. "Let's take it one step at a time. Let's get into bed and try some visualization. When we lie down together say to yourself, "I'm in bed with Jamie and nothing is going to hurt me tonight."

Eddie agreed. They got ready for bed early, both of them were so exhausted. When they were both lying in their bed Jamie put his arms around Eddie, "Now shut your eyes and know I am here now and you won't' be hurt again. If I knew who did this Eddie…I would make them pay."

Eddie inhaled Jamie's scent and tried to feel safe in his embrace. She managed three hours of sleep before the demons came and she woke Jamie with shrill screams…"Don't! Don't touch me!"

Jamie woke, afraid not to after what happened the last time. "I'm only going to hold you baby, I'm going to hold you and keep you safe, you're fine. It's fine."

"I can't take anymore," Eddie sobbed into Jamie's chest. "Why won't this stop? What is it?" Jamie could only continue to rock her. Eddie didn't know it but that next morning he was driving with Danny to see her father. Peter Janko would have the insight he needed to help Eddie.

"I don't know baby, but I will find out all right. I will find out, ssh…" Jamie kissed her head over and over again. "Ssh…I'm right here."

"Jamie, go to your Dad's and sleep there," Eddie said suddenly. "You are so tired and I just can't sleep…Why are you shaking your head?"

"If I go, we both go, sweetheart. Last time you burned your skin in a hot shower, what will it be next time? Razor blades? Pills? No, I'm not leaving you. You aren't alone anymore."

"I would never…" Eddie began then broke off. "I'm sorry I scared you Jamie. I think…we need to try more sleep, okay? Let's try more sleep, you are so tired." Jamie wore lines of fatigue all over his face but he would not leave Eddie again, he was terrified he would lose her.

Jamie laid down with Eddie in his arms, "I'm here, and I won't just watch…like I do in the nightmare. I will fight Eddie, I'll fight to my last breath for you."

Eddie sighed and held onto Jamie and his words. She fell asleep and stayed asleep another three hours without incident.

Eddie had to work that day, she dressed for patrol and left Jamie with a hug and kiss. He put on his suit and tie then drove to Staten Island to pick up Danny. He smiled to see his brother off the crutches on a walker. "You look good. Did you have that yesterday?"

"Yeah but you were sleeping walking through the day so you missed it," Danny replied.

"She had another one last night," Jamie confided to Danny as they began the drive to Lincoln correctional.

"She didn't hurt herself, did she?" Danny was beginning to care for Eddie like a sister.

"No, she woke me and I helped her as best I can. Danny, can you get in touch with your old therapist from anger management and see if he can get Eddie a referral. She's calling around looking but no one can see her until a few weeks from now. She is exhausted, I am exhausted."

"Sure thing, Kid, I'll call him tomorrow first thing," Danny promised.

The talk turned to other things until they parked at the jail. Jamie hurried to help Danny out of the car, "So our workouts are helping huh?"

"It's looser, yeah, you're doing great," Danny replied. "I think in a few weeks I'll graduate to a cane."

"Anything else you need from me, you got it," Jamie promised as they walked up to security and checked their weapons and their other belongings. The guards led them to the prisoners' meeting area where a blonde haired man with Eddie's blue eyes met them. He was cuffed but stood when he saw the two men approaching.

"Mr. Janko, I'm Jamie Reagan," Jamie did his best to shake Peter's hand. "This is my older brother Danny."

After pleasantries the three men sat down and Jamie began. "Mr. Janko, I know when Eddie came to see you last time she mentioned I was her partner, but since then I became her boyfriend."

"And you want to marry her," Peter cut in. "It's old fashioned isn't it to be asking my permission?"

"It's not for that reason," Jamie replied. "Mr. Janko, I hope you don't think me out of line by coming to you like this, but Eddie been having horrific nightmares. She wakes up screaming and crying. She, uh…Last week she woke up and I had just had a pain shot for my broken fingers. I slept through her crying out for me. She was in the shower with the hot water on. She said she felt dirty and had to get clean again."

Peter sighed, "I knew it. I told her mother! I told her one day it would come back and haunt her but she just wanted to protect Edit from those horrible memories."

"Well, Sir, uh, she's not protected now because she is being eaten alive by these nightmares. I don't know what to do for her. I can't comfort her and soothe her if I don't' know what she's scared of," Jamie replied turning the floor over to Danny.

Danny outlined for Peter what he'd learned about Thomas Casey and his cousin. "Now the cousin is doing time for aggravated rape and murder, so if he was that bad a guy…"

"That animal is working with my Edit?" Peter was getting upset and angry. "No wonder. No wonder she is having these dreams."

"Wait a minute," Jamie said sitting up straighter. "You are saying that Casey is responsible for this? Did he do something to Eddie?"

"He and his cousin, they were rough kids. They ran a leather jacket gang and the initiation was to score with the prettiest girls in school. My Edit, she was so pretty, but a tomboy. She liked jeans and jackets, no frilly dresses. She wasn't interested in boys or anything at that point. She was a very happy girl, active in her clubs and her school. She denied to date those guys and she denied to have sex with them. Well Casey he didn't take no for an answer. While three of his friends watched from the high school steps, he raped my girl. When she fought back, he slammed her head into the pavement so hard…She was in a coma for a week."

Jamie shuttered, what Eddie had gone through! "And he got off!"

"No, he was never tried," Peter explained. "When Edit woke up she had no memory of the attack or the attackers. My wife and I were just so happy she was our little girl still, that the monster that hurt her didn't cause irreparable damage. We told her she had an appendectomy and had a high fever. She believed us and we let it go at that. I warned my wife one day she'd remember, and now she has."

"How did you know who did it then?" Danny asked. "If you knew who did it why not press charges yourself? If Eddie was a minor you could have. " Danny didn't trust anyone in an orange jumpsuit.

"We found out from one of her girlfriends," Peter replied. "At her graduation party, she pointed him out to us but we would have needed to explain to Edit what happened. She was adjusting and recovering so well. We did what we thought was best."

Jamie was still in shock when he and Danny left the prison. "Oh my God, Danny," was all he could say.

Danny put a supportive hand on Jamie's shoulder, "Hey, now you know what you are dealing with. You focus on Eddie and support her in recovering her memories. We'll fill the shrinks in first so they know how to help her. I will dig in on Casey. If he's got this past he can't be in the uniform. We will get him, Jamie. We'll make him pay for what he did."

Jamie felt a little better with Danny's promise. He wanted to drive to the precinct, find Thomas Casey and horsewhip him within an inch of his life but he knew he had to bide his time, wait, and watch to get justice for Eddie. If he acted in haste it would only serve to hurt Eddie more, she'd already been hurt enough.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Please let me know your thoughts on this piece and Tough. I see I have readers but I don't know your thoughts so please share. This piece is still open so any ideas or comments may be used. If your review is signed you will be credited.**

Chapter Eleven

"So what do you want to do kid?" Danny asked as they sat in the car outside his house.

"Wait until we have a professional," Jamie replied. "In the meantime, I will pull back on the affection in case having that experience is awakening something in her."

"Good idea, but don't make her feel ugly or something, you know how women get," Danny laughed. "She might think you don't find her attractive anymore."

"Danny, Eddie will not think that. Don't worry." Jamie got out of the car and helped Danny inside. "Thanks for doing this. We make a pretty good team when we aren't fighting."

Danny agreed his kid brother was shaping up to be a decent detective even without his gold shield. "I'll call you tomorrow with a doctor's information and we'll fill him or her in on what we know. They can decide how to tell her what she's scared of and how to make her better."

Jamie agreed to the plan then headed home. Eddie would be arriving home from her tour in just a few minutes. He didn't want her to know where he had gone, he wasn't going to be able to tell her the true horror of what she'd experience. She'd blocked it out with good reason.

Jamie started a chicken and potatoes for dinner. Eddie came in a little after five to a fully cooked dinner. "Whoa, lamb chop look at you going all out!" Eddie exclaimed happily. "I had a long day…what did you do on your day off?"

"I went on a little trip with Danny," Jamie replied. "It was nice and we did a little more digging on Thomas Casey. We're looking to move him out of the 1-2. I don't like the vibe I get from him."

"Jamie, no…" Eddie sighed. "I have to learn to handle this. I have no reason to be scared of him, I just am. I love you so much for caring but…"

"Eddie, you don't like him and you don't trust him. I don't trust him. I really don't want him possibly riding with you, me, or anyone else in the precinct that we know and care about. I'm sorry, Eddie, you have to trust me here…I'm using my hook. It's come to that!"

Eddie knew better than to argue with Jamie when he got into this mood. Angry, protective Jamie was a very unique individual. He doesn't show up very often but when he does everyone should just stay back and agree. "All right," Eddie replied. "All right, if that's how you feel I won't say anything else. Let's just enjoy this wonderful meal you prepared and if you want we can watch a DVD in bed and just…lay like broccoli."

Jamie offered a small smile, "I'd like that a lot." He moved across the room to hug her. He wanted to hold her close and never let her go again. He was still reeling from the information he and Danny learned that day, but now was not the time to share it with Eddie. She had to hear that in a controlled way, in a safe place, with professionals that can help her.

Eddie hugged him back and rubbed his cheek against his chest, "What's wrong, Jamie?" She knew him too well, something was bothering him and she wanted to know what. She wanted to help.

"It's still had that's all," he replied. "To work with Danny on something without Joe or instead of it being me and Joe. I'm missing my brother."

It wasn't a lie. With everything happening with Eddie, Jamie did miss Joe. As much as Danny tried he lacked a sensitivity that linked Jamie to Joe. Still, Danny had come a long way, his help had been invaluable.

Eddie sighed, "Oh baby…." She stroked his hair and rubbed his back gently. "I have no idea how much that must have hurt. I wish I had been there for you."

"I wish you had too," Jamie replied. "Let's have our dinner…I feel like I just want to hold you all night. Would that be okay?"

Eddie smiled, "That would precious."

Eddie and Jamie spent the rest of the night snuggling in their bed. He held her close and rubbed her arms up and down. She dozed off on his chest and managed a full night's sleep without nightmares.

The next afternoon as Jamie worked with Kara on the beat, his cell rang. "Hey Walsh, I have to get this, it's Danny."

Jamie picked up and listened. "That is great, I will be there to get you at ten tomorrow morning. I'm on nights after today…Oh can Eddie stay at your place? I'm scared about her being alone, except for last night she's had a dream every night."

"You got it," Danny replied. "Linda and I aren't you but if she needs us…I told Linda a little bit of what we found out. She's not at all surprised Eddie repressed this so badly. She says when it comes out it'll explode."

"I know, so I will see you tomorrow, we'll fill in this Dr. Schmidt about Eddie and see what she wants to do. I think it's probably best if I tell Eddie with the doctor there…but I'm no shrink…"

"No, and you might do more harm than good," Danny replied. "See you tomorrow morning kid."

Eddie was happy she would be staying with Danny and Linda when Jamie was on midnights. She was scared to be alone after what she had done to herself.

"It's only three days and you are off before I go in so we can meet in Brooklyn for dinners," Jamie told her. "I'll take you bags when I go see Danny tomorrow."

Eddie smiled and packed a bag to go to Danny's. She and Jamie enjoyed a Chinese takeout dinner and went to catch a late show. In the morning, Jamie headed to Staten Island to meet Danny. Linda was still home, "Hey, how was she last night?"

"Coffee," was Jamie's reply. "2:30 and 4:45 she woke up screaming….At least now she calls for me so I know I have her trust. She's going to scream out Jamie when she has the dreams."

"I am going to crash in the room with her," Linda told him. "So she doesn't have a chance to act against herself before she is fully awake. We've got this and I am sure the doctor can help."

Jamie thank Linda for her support and after his coffee headed out with Danny for the consult. They sat feeling out of place in the waiting room until they were called. "Have a seat, I'm Dr. Schmidt. It's good to meet you both though I'm sorry your loved one is struggling."

Jamie nodded, "She is suffering, Doctor. She barely sleeps at all and when she does she wakes up screaming and crying. She nearly gave herself severe burns a few weeks ago by scalding herself trying to "get clean." She's repressed the memory so deeply she can't recover it, but if she can't make her peace with it how can she heal?"

"She can't…she has to make her peace, she has to remember. What I suggest is I see her for a few sessions, gauge her mental state outside of the dreams. Then, slowly we will begin the process of recovering her lost memories. It is a painful and it is slow but 95% of the patients do very well."

The doctor seemed to know her stuff, Jamie felt at ease but Danny, as usual had his questions. Jamie smiled at that, he was looking out for him and for Eddie. "What about the other 5%?"

"Of that 5%, 45% eventually recovered and got off the medication but the other 55% suffered permanent psychological damage, some even committed suicide. I won't lie to you, I can't guarantee which percentage your girlfriend will fall into."

Jamie took a deep breath, "And people with these repressed memories, if they don't get treatment what happens to them?"

"Most continue to live with the dreams and the flashbacks that make no sense to them. Many start to drink or take some other substance to cope…some also commit suicide. Getting help is a lot safer. After we address the dreams we take her back to the site of the original trauma. There we tell her what we know…if we can flood her mind with the actual events where they took place, the reaction is enormous…but it works…"

"Whoa, you want to take her back there and have Eddie relive….and what if in the flood she drowns?" Jamie was concerned and looked over at Danny for guidance.

"You've got to go for it, Kid. She needs to be free…If she drowns…we'll be there to throw her as many lines as she needs to get her head above water. I'll come, Linda too…she's not alone and neither are you."

Jamie and Danny shook the doctor's hand and made an appointment for later that week. Jamie was going to bring Eddie the first time at least and sit in the waiting room for moral support. He was unsure about the rest of it, scared of what it all might do to Eddie. He couldn't lose her, though, that he was sure of beyond a doubt. He'd do whatever it took to see her through.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Please let me know your thoughts on this piece and Tough. I see I have readers but I don't know your thoughts so please share. This piece is still open so any ideas or comments may be used. If your review is signed you will be credited.**

Chapter Twelve

"Don't be scared," Jamie told Eddie as they walked into the doctor's office for her first session. "Danny and I met with the doctor and I talked to her about the dreams. She is really nice and understanding."

"I'm not scared, whatever this is has to stop and I am going to do all the work I have to do so we can finally have some peace." Eddie assured him as she introduced herself to the receptionist and got the forms to fill out. She took her time and made sure they were filled out accurately.

Exactly on time, Dr. Schmidt called out, "Eddie Janko. Come on back…I'm Dr. Schmidt. Would you like to talk alone or if you feel more comfortable you can bring your boyfriend."

"Jamie would you?" Eddie asked but he was already standing.

He kept silent and held her hand walking in. The room was large and comfortable, not at all stifling. Eddie and Jamie sat side by side on the couch, "Eddie, Jamie tells me you are having some very troubling nightmares but you are so far unable to ascertain their cause. Why don't you describe them to me?"

Eddie began to describe the nightmares, "I'm alone…it's always cold and I'm walking in the dark. It's peaceful at first and I feel safe. Then everything explodes, there are lights, and hands all over, faceless bodyless hands…and feet, I'm being held down and kicked and poked…" Eddie starts to shake. Eddie reaches over for Jamie. "I can't breathe and I am so scared. I see Jamie on the steps or a ladder, something high and I scream for him but he never comes, never…"

"Eddie, you know if I was there and saw this terrible thing happening to you that I would be there! You know that!" Jamie insisted. 

She was too upset to answer him. She wiped her eyes and sniffled, "He never comes…I call out for him to and he just stands there."

Dr. Schmidt watched the couple's dynamic, she knew this young couple was in trouble if they didn't get a handle on what was going on. Jamie repeatedly tried to comfort Eddie, to hold her and assure her if her dreams were real he'd be there to save her. To Eddie it was all too real, it happened and in the mess of her unconscious mind, she saw Jamie hanging her out to dry.

"Okay, Eddie. I think the manifestation of Jamie in your dreams isn't related to the dream itself. How do you feel when you have a dream and you wake up? What happens then?"

Eddie sighed, "Jamie is there…usually he's there. He had to work the last three nights but he arranged for me to stay with his brother and sister-in-law. She slept in the room with me and that was nice of her. Jamie, he'll hold me and rock me. He'll tell me it's okay and that I can't get hurt. But I can. I get hurt every time I close my eyes."

"Could you be frustrated with him for not understanding that?" Dr. Schmidt asked. "Do you feel like maybe you aren't being heard?"

"I know he hears me, I know he understand," Eddie replied looking at Jamie. "I think I'm just…I think I'm mad at him for not being there. But I don't know if there is a there. Is this just a sick dream coming from what I see on the streets or did this happen to me or someone I know."

Dr. Schmidt looked at Jamie. "Jamie, why don't we tell Eddie what we discussed."

Eddie turned to look at Jamie. He was crying silently thinking of what he was going to have to do. He took a deep breath, "Eddie, understand I had to do this. After what happened in the bathroom that night, I had no choice. I had to find out if you are repressing something or if you were just struggling. Danny and I took a trip to see you father."

Eddie's face grew red with anger, 'How dare you!" she snapped. "I don't want him to know anything about my life…"

"Eddie, hear him out," Dr. Schmidt coached. "Take a breath and hear him out."

Eddie obeyed and turned to look at Jamie. He looked like someone was torturing him. "Eddie…He told us…" Jamie's voice broke but he pushed on. "He told us what happened to you, honey. He told us everything and something did happen to you. You aren't manifesting it, you are trying to remember it."

Eddie's face turned ashen. This was real. The horror and the pain was real, and she clearly remembered none of it. "Then why don't I remember?"

Dr. Schmidt sighed, "Likely the trauma you suffered at the time was more than your body or your mind was able to handle, so to protect yourself you blocked the experience out. The way to recover those memories…"

"Well, why do I have to recover them?" Eddie asked. "Why can't Jamie just tell me what he found out?"

"That won't help you," Dr. Schmidt replied. "You have to unlock this memory for yourself and then we have to work together, the three of us to heal you from the inside out."

"How do we do that?" Eddie asked. "Do you hypnotize me or something?"

"No, no we don't. We use a technique that requires you to go back to the site of the trauma. We will use Jamie's knowledge to recreate that night for you. I will be there, Jamie will be there too. If there is something else that you want to include, they can be there too. Once you remember, things might get harder for a while, but it will settle down. "

When they left the doctor's office Eddie was shaking. "Hey, it's going to be okay. You take your time and we'll do this when you are ready."

"Jamie, I am ready for you to be honest and tell me what you know, this happened to me and somehow I blocked it out. My parents didn't see fit to tell me!"

"Eddie, you were young. They wanted to protect you, I don't think it was the right choice but I didn't make that choice. I am not going to tell you here and now because Dr. Schmidt is the expert and she says it is dangerous for you to remember like that!"

Jamie stepped away from her for a minute and ran a hand through his hair, "Eddie, I won't lose you over this. I won't do it. I wish I could just take you home, sit you on my lap and tell you everything your father told me and Danny, but I can't. This demon is not a dream, it is real and it is living inside of you! I'm not going to reach in there and pull it out so it can tear you apart while I do it!"

Eddie started to walk towards the subway, "Where are you going?" Jamie asked as she sped up.

"Home, I can't be with you right now, I just can't. You know my secret, a secret I don't even know and you won't share it with me!" Eddie spun around and met him with anger flashing in her eyes. 'You went behind my back to find this out, and now you are keeping it a secret! You say it is for my own good. How is it for my own good to be betrayed by the only person I have been able to trust since my father went to prison? How is that supposed to be okay?"

She was nearing tears, Jamie closed the gap with a few running steps. "I'm trying to help you, maybe I could have talked to you but…you scalded yourself in a shower trying to rid yourself of the memories. If I didn't wake up when I did…I had to do something and fast. I am not going to stand by and let you hurt yourself!"

"But it's okay for you to hurt me right?" Eddie asked with a hint of defeat and a hint of annoyance.

"I'm not doing this to hurt you, Eddie and deep down you know that. Let's go home, let's go home and talk this out baby…Can on?"

Jamie reached out his hand to Eddie hoping she would place hers inside of his. "I can't right now Jamie. I can't. Go to work, I'm going home. I'll talk to you in the morning okay?"

She didn't give him a chance to answer, just headed down into the subway terminal leaving Jamie standing and staring as she walked away.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Please let me know your thoughts on this piece and Tough. I see I have readers but I don't know your thoughts so please share. This piece is still open so any ideas or comments may be used. If your review is signed you will be credited.**

 **This chapter deals in part with the events of Loose Lips. The next chapter or two chapter will do the same. It is adjusted to make Kara Walsh Jamie's partner, but Eddie will be involved much as she was in the episode. Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter Thirteen

"Coming!" Danny called out as he made his way to the door leaning on his one crutch. Now he could make the door in less than two minutes, his therapist felt he would be on a cane at his next appointment with the orthopedist.

When Danny opened the door, Jamie was there. It had been about an hour since Eddie disappeared into the subway, Jamie drove around in a circle for a half hour before automatically driving over to his brother's house. "Hey, how did it go?" Danny began then noticed Jamie was alone.

"She walked off on me, Danny," Jamie replied stepping inside. "I told her we went to see her Dad, I told her why I couldn't tell her, the doctor told her too…She got mad and walked off."

"You had to know that was going to be hard for her to hear, that you know why she's having these night terrors and won't tell her. With her past, you had to know she would feel betrayed Jamie."

Danny got two beers and sat down. Jamie put his head in his hands, "I promised her Danny. I promised to never ever hurt her."

"Kid, listen to me…You are doing this for her own good. You are doing it out of love for her, to get her better. You have to remember that and get her to see it too," Danny advised putting a supportive arm on Jamie's back.

"All she sees now is my hurting her," Jamie sighed. "But I know if I do tell her, if I do tell her what happened she won't heal, not as deeply as she needs to."

"Jamie, being in love is about making her world better each day. Telling her now to make today better will not make it better tomorrow or next week or next month. Stick it out, be there for her, take her anger and do what you always do when you get faced with someone's rage, give back love."

Jamie knew Danny's advice was spot on target. As bad a temper has he had on the job, he never had it with his wife or his kids. Linda knew he loved her every say. His advice would produce the desired result eventually. "I'm going to call her and see if she wants anything to eat." Jamie dialed Eddie's phone hoping she would pick up.

"Jamie, where are you?" she asked. Her voice was clearly in a panic.

"I'm at Danny's, I wanted to give you some space. I wanted to see if you wanted me to pick up Korean from that place you like on the Island?" Jamie was glad she had panicked, it meant that he had not destroyed everything that they had built.

Eddie said yes to the food and Jamie headed out with his big brother's words fresh in his mind. He got home an hour later, "Time to chow down," he said smiling. "You okay?"

"I am still angry, Jamie, and I am still hurt that you went behind my back to my dad and now you won't say what you know, but we have nine months together and it is worth more than that,' Eddie replied. "You're still sleeping on the couch though."

Jamie didn't argue the point, he put the food out and they sat and ate. "So, how is Danny?"

"He's good," Jamie replied. "He is moving so much better, I go over tomorrow to do his knee."

"That really seems to be helping him, Jamie," Eddie replied. "When is his reinstatement physical?"

"Two more months," Jamie said taking a bite of his meal. "He'll get there, he has the spirit and the determination. He will get there. Can we talk a minute about something else?"

Eddie nodded eating her ribs, "Sure, anything but the elephant in the room," she replied.

Jamie sighed, she wasn't going to let it go. "I signed up yesterday to take the Sergeant's exam. I sit for it next month and hope to be promoted not long after. It will mean more money, better hours…Better for us."

Eddie smiled, "I think that is really great, Jamie. You will be a terrific Sergeant but what about making Detective? Isn't that your dream?"

"Some dreams don't come true," Jamie shrugged. "If we want to be together, make a life, one day have a family I need to look into the future that I can grasp. No one has to pick me for Sergeant. If I get the top score, I get the top slot, the numbers do that talking. I was first in my glass since PreK, no one can try to argue I didn't earn it."

Eddie felt bad for Jamie. It wasn't fair to him that he was passed over when he was twice as good and talented as half of the Detectives out of the 12th. "Anything I can do to help you I will do it," Eddie replied. She was angry with him, yes, but she loved him as much as he loved her. They would work it out.

Jamie cleaned up the dinner and rested his hand on pillows, it hurt from the dampness outside as the bones knitted back together. "You want me to put some ice on it?" Eddie asked.

"No, I want to talk out what's happened," Jamie replied. "If it was really up to me, honey I would tell you now. I would hold you close and tell you and vow to protect you for the rest of my life. I will protect you, Eddie for the rest of my life, you know that. That's what I'm doing. Dr. Schmidt is the best in her field, the best, and if she tells me it is dangerous for you to remember like that, by me telling you then I am going to listen to her, because I love you too much to watch you suffer more." His voice was thick with emotion.

Eddie sighed, "I don't know if I can remember like she wants me to do it. I am so scared to do that Jamie. To go to place where a horrible thing happened and not know what it is."

Jamie put his arm around Eddie and pulled her close. "Listen, I'm going to go with you. Do you want Danny or my dad to go too, maybe it might be too hard for you to go to me, maybe my Dad?"

"Maybe, I'll ask my questions at our session next week and let her know I'm going to do it. I need you to be there, I know I was unreasonable…"

Jamie hushed her with a kiss on the lips, "Ssh, it's all right. It's all right." Jamie soothed her. "I understand. Let's forget it, let's go to bed, and try to sleep. I will hold you from behind again, you get a few hours at least that way."

"You don't," Eddie sighed. "You toss and turn, you aren't comfortable like that…" She stood up and they went into the bedroom to get as much rest as Eddie's psyche would allow.

After only one nightmare, Jamie got up at seven to go for a run. He ran around the block and down a few streets. On his way back he spotted a blonde girl crying on a bench. She reminded him of Eddie after she woke from a dream, small, cowering, and just totally in need of someone to understand. He stopped and introduced himself trying to help in any way he could. What Jamie didn't know then, was he was making a mistake that could cost more than one person their life.

Three hours later, Jamie found himself summoned by Maria Baez. She had been called with her temporary partner to the hospital to take a statement on an assault victim. That victim had died while she watched, but not before stating that the police office that tried to help her was also in danger.

"I promised your brother," Baez told Jamie. "Watch your back, play house mouse at the precinct and lay low."

"Thanks but I am a professional and an adult. I'm on duty right now, I have Walsh watching my back here and Eddie is watching at home," Jamie defended. "If you have more questions you have my number."

Jamie headed out to the car with Kara at his back, "I will back you up you know that, but be careful anyway. That guy beat the life out of his girlfriend he's sick."

"I know Kara, but she was a scared 90 pound girl, I am a grown man with a gun, it is different. We'll be alert but don't sweat it."

Kara had to admire Jamie's confidence, they were on night tours the rest of the week so she would keep an extra vigilant eye on her partner. His stubbornness was a gift in many cases, but this time she feared it could be his downfall.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Please let me know your thoughts on this piece and Tough. I see I have readers but I don't know your thoughts so please share. This piece is still open so any ideas or comments may be used. If your review is signed you will be credited.**

 **This chapter deals in part with the events of Loose Lips. The next chapter or two chapter will do the same. It is adjusted to make Kara Walsh Jamie's partner, but Eddie will be involved much as she was in the episode. Hope you enjoy.**

 **Due to health issues, this story and Tough will be updating twice a week. It can maybe be persuaded to do it three times a week if you ask nicely.**

Chapter Fourteen

Eddie was awakened from a sound sleep, but not by a nightmare, but by the shrill ringing of her phone. She fumbled in the dark room and checked the number, "Kara, what happened?"

Twenty minutes later Eddie was running through the ER doors at St. Benjamin's. Jamie was sitting on the gurney getting his badly burned arm bandaged. "Jamie, oh God, are you all right?" She rushed to him and took him in her arms. Jamie hissed in pain as he moved his burned arm to hold her. "I'm okay, sweetie. I'm okay."

"You are not okay, you have a burn on your arm and you bleeding!" Eddie caressed his cheek. "Someone threw a Molotov cocktail at you. Someone tried to kill you." Eddie clung to Jamie and snuggled her cheek against his chest.

"But they didn't," Jamie soothed. "They didn't. TARU is going to set up the apartment with some extra safety stuff and I'll be laying low until they get this guy. It's going to be okay."

Jamie glared at Kara, he didn't want her to call Eddie. She was too fragile right now to be shocked like this. He wanted to go home under his own power and prove he was fine. That was the only way to avoid something like this.

"You're all set, Officer Reagan," the nurse said patting his arm. "Keep it dry and put the ointment on twice a day. If you get a fever or experience severe pain, come back and see us."

Jamie thanked the nurse and wrapped his good arm around Eddie, "Let's blow this popsicle stand. I missed my meal, how about we stop at the all night diner, get a couple of sandwiches." He dropped a soft kiss on her head.

"Are you sure? Someone just set you on fire Jamie," Eddie reminded him as if he needed reminding. 

"I know but I don't feel that bad so let's go have a little private time. Thanks for saving my neck Walsh," Jamie said smiling at his very capable partner. Jamie acknowledged Danny who had headed to the hospital with Baez as soon as the call came in, no knee injury was keeping him keeping his brother safe. "Keep an eye on him, Eddie," Danny requested as Eddie nodded and held onto Jamie a little tighter.

By the time they got home that night, TARU had outfitted the entire apartment with safety devices, panic buttons, and an array of equipment designed to keep Jamie safe. He nodded to the two officers as they went inside. "We both have the day off tomorrow, let's just lie down, cuddle up, get some rest…"

"Sounds good," Eddie replied lying down with him careful of his burned arm and cut face. She rained kisses all down his cheek and shoulder, "I love you, Jamie."

"I love you too," Jamie murmured. "Try to sleep." He stroked her arm and her hair. He knew she wanted to make love but he was too sore and his body would not cooperate when he was this tired. He would in the morning, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

Just before dawn the police detail heard shrill and terrified screams coming from the bedroom. "No! NO! NO DON"T TOUCH ME!" Both officers reacted immediately breaking in the sophisticated lock and drawing their weapons. "Police!"

Jamie was holding onto Eddie trying to shield her with his body. "Police! Don't move!" came the warning. "It's fine, guy, she's had a bad dream. Get the hell out of here!"

"We're sorry, Jamie," Officer Bret Sanders replied. "We just heard her screaming and though someone jumped the security system."

"No, now can you please get out of here, you are scaring her more than she already is." Eddie had folded over on herself and buried her face in Jamie's chest. "And guys, one word of this, and I swear to God you will regret it. This is private."

They both nodded and left the couple alone. Jamie turned his attention back to Eddie. "IT's all right, they're gone. You're safe."

Eddie broke down and sobbed in his arms, "I'm not safe, I'm not safe anywhere. It's in my own head, I can't escape there is no way out!"

"Yes there is," Jamie replied softly. "There is a way out. You know the way out. It's going to be hard and scary and like the doctor said stuff might get more intense for a bit but I'll be here and I'll get you through it. We'll get each other through it. I know you're tired, I know you have these horrific dreams that you just can't understand yet, but it's not picnic on my end either to watch you suffer." All the while he was taking, Jamie was kissing Eddie's face and head trying to soothe her. It was working well. Her breathing was evening out and she was starting to settle.

"I know," Eddie replied softly. "When I saw you in the hospital and you were wincing it was like a knife in my heart. I can't imagine what it is like for you to watch this or to know the cause and not be able to speak up. I know it's for my own good. I'm going to do it Jamie. Dr. Schmidt says I need two or three more sessions with her before we will go. I'd like you there, I need you there."

"I will be there," Jamie promised softly. "I will be there right by your side. Now, tomorrow…for the rest of my life."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Eddie replied in a sleepy voice. She was starting to doze again, Jamie was glad of that.

"I haven't yet," he replied and laid down bring her with him. "I'll be there Eddie."

"And your dad?" she asked. "I think I might kind of need a Dad there."

"Then he'll be there or he'll be near, whatever you want baby," Jamie promised. "You think you'll be able to go back to bed?"

She nodded and Jamie kissed her cheek and let her burrow as close as she could. She fell asleep about ten minutes later and slept peacefully in his arms through the night.

For the next two days, Jamie went to work and went directly home to their secure apartment now sporting a brand new door. The two officers guarding him the night of Eddie's nightmare didn't say a word about what had happened. He knew it was out of respect for not only him but also for Eddie. Her colleagues liked her, they respected her, with one exception. Thank God Danny handpicked the uniforms that were going to watch him, or they might have drawn Thomas Casey. If they had done that and he burst into their bedroom with his gun it might just have been too much on Eddie.

That Wednesday they were finally back on the same tour. Eddie had to make a stop at the dry cleaners so she detour to the Village before heading to the precinct. Jamie was dressed and ready hoping to steal a kiss before heading out onto patrol. Roll call was a minute away and Eddie still hadn't arrive. He snuck his phone and called to check up on her.

As they spoke he heard her groan or whimper just before the call dropped. Before he could dial her back Danny called. His older brother had been keeping tabs on Jamie's threat situation and was in the neighborhood to meet up with Baez. When Jamie mentioned that the phone went dead Danny recalled something Baez reported a few minutes prior while they shared a coffee. "People who care about other people get hurt the most…" The two brothers quickly figured out where he was taking Eddie. Jamie left the precinct at a dead run while Danny jumped behind the wheel of Baez's car. At top speeds both brothers headed for the warehouse where Eddie would likely meet an untimely end.

Danny got their seconds before Jamie, hoping Eddie was secured in the vehicle he sped up and slammed his car into the side of the kidnapper's car. Jamie, it turned out had the same idea, he sped up the squad car and rammed the car from the other side. While Danny and Baez were focused on the perp, Jamie headed to the backseat.

Eddie was bound and gagged on the floor in the back. She appeared to be unhurt but the uncharacteristic pallor of her skin scared him. He cut her bindings, "Just wait until we get someone to check you out," he advised but Eddie was already moving out of the car.

She was shaking and her legs were weak. Jamie caught her before she fell and eased her down to lean against his wreck squad car. Eddie looked up at him, it was that same look she wore when he found her boiling herself in their bathtub. That scared, hollow look that cut him to his very core. He dropped a kiss on her head, "The bus is almost here, hang on."

Eddie heard the sirens in the background and laid her head on Jamie's chest. The medics approchaed her with a stretch, a neck collar, and a backboard. She didn't want any of that, to be tied again, but Jamie insisted. "You might have already hurt yourself by getting up, honey. Let's be safe. I'm going to go with you, Baez is going to handle this."

Jamie shot Baez a grateful smile as he climbed in the back of the bus with Eddie. Two hours later they would learn that aside from cuts and bruises she had no real injuries…but Jamie knew with what had happened to her in the past the most serious injuries would not be physical.


	15. Chapter 15

**Special thanks to werks for the beta. Please read and review.**

 **Here is it folks the beginning of a three chapter arc dealing with uncovering Eddie's memories. Hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter Fifteen

Eddie surprised Jamie by recovering from her ordeal remarkably well. She stayed in the hospital overnight for observation before being allowed to go home on leave for a week. With the danger behind them, Eddie and Jamie once again settled in to their routine which now included weekly visits to Dr. Schmidt. On their fourth week she finally announced, "It's time Eddie. This weekend we will finally open up the door you have shut for so long."

Eddie wasn't sure how she felt about that one. She was anxious to get this over with and start to heal whatever she needed to heal, but on the other hand she wasn't sure she even wanted to know.

Jamie reached over and took her hand. "We can do this, I'll have Dad there if you still want that and I promise I will be there every second you are going through this."

Eddie smiled at him, "Okay then, this weekend it is."

The doctor committed to doing this on Saturday. Jamie decided they would drive out to Westchester on Friday and spend the night. Frank and the doctor would meet up with them Saturday at sundown near the high school.

Eddie was excited and frightened at the same time. She couldn't wait to be alone for the weekend with Jamie, they had a few difficult weeks between his burns and her kidnapping, but that was behind them. He chose a lovely little hotel, quaint rooms and even a fire place. They curled up together before that fire and held one another.

"Eddie, listen. I know tomorrow you are going to remember something that you wouldn't think in your worst dreams you could have survived, but I want you to realize that you did survive it and you can do anything you want to do. You are so strong, Eddie, and what you can't handle, I will carry for you." Jamie held her to his chest and stroked her hair while he said this.

"Jamie, can't you give me at least a clue…" Eddie said seriously. She was so scared, she had no idea how this was going to assault her mind.

"I can't," Jamie sighed. "I wish I could but the doctor insists you remember on your own. If I didn't think it was in your best interest I would tell you here where we are alone, but I want this to be for the long haul."

Eddie understood and laid back on his chest. "Jamie, will you do something for me?"

"I will do anything you know that," Jamie replied immediately.

"Make love to me, right here, right now." Eddie moved over him and looked down the firelight reflecting on her golden hair. She looked like an angel. Jamie whispered, "My angel…" Then leaned up to meet her lips.

He took his time to savor this. Jamie knew in the back of his head they might not make love for a long time. When she remembered being assaulted, she might shut that part down for a bit. He would be patient with her, he had no idea what she was going to go through. He went through his own private hell after her father enlightened him and Danny on what happened to her. Eddie would go through something much worse.

Jamie kept his touch feather light. He worked on her cheeks, her neck, the valley between her breasts with his hands and his mouth. He wasn't pushing or rushing. He felt Eddie's hand in his and her nails sliding over his bare back. He had taken his shirt off when they curled under the blanket. By the time he was finished, Eddie was struggling to contain herself. "Ssh, it's all right. I'm going to take care of you, sweetheart. Ssh."

Jamie leaned over to kiss her, joining their mouths as he joined their bodies. He felt Eddie welcome him both with her mouth and her femininity. When they had finished, Jamie pulled Eddie so she was lying on top of him. "I love you, Eddie Janko." He kissed her nose and each eyelid as he felt her breathing calm and her body relax.

Jamie was glad of this special memory he made with Eddie that night for she was on edge most of the next day. Jamie tried to keep her busy but she didn't even want to eat very much, which was very unlike Eddie. He didn't force her, maybe she wouldn't get sick if she didn't have too much in her stomach.

They met up with Frank and Dr. Schmidt at 7 o'clock. It was becoming dark out. Eddie was surprised she was at her old high school. Jamie has been tight lipped about all of this.

"Why are we here?" she asked the doctor. "I haven't been here in years, I didn't even graduate from here my parents transferred me to a private school…" Eddie's police brain engaged then. "It was here, whatever it was, it happened here?"

"Let's just start by walking, you and I. Jamie and Frank, you can sit on the steps and Eddie and I will just take a nice walk." Dr. Schmidt had one hand gently on the back of Eddie's jacket. "Breathe in and out, smell the air, hear the noises around and try to picture the last time you were here in this place. Who were you with?"

Eddie reached into her memory but it was blank, "I don't know. I can't remember that."

"You can remember, Eddie. You can…think about it again. Was it a boy? A girl? Your mother?" The doctor kept her voice soft and low as they walked slowly closer to the area Peter Janko had identified as her attack site.

"I was with boys," Eddie replied. "I didn't like girls, too catty."

"Good, that's very good, now do you remember what you did with those boys?" Dr. Schmidt probed. "Did you play sports? Run track?"

"No, no I…I didn't like those boys, they were too rough but they kept going after me," Eddie replied going into a near trance-like state. "Four boys, maybe five. Tom, Justin, Mike, Gilbert, and one other but I can't think."

"You are doing great Eddie," Dr. Schmidt praised. "You really are doing fabulous. Now let's go to a cool spring night. It's dusk like now…there's a pretty girl with short blond hair walking along the sidewalk. There are five boys on the corner but she's not scared is she? Can you see her?"

Eddie tried to picture the girl in her mind but failed, "I can't see her! I can't do this, I'm sorry." Eddie took off running away from the doctor toward the safety of Jamie and Frank. She didn't want to do this anymore. She wanted to go home.

Jamie saw her running and in spite of Frank's command to stay put he went to meet her, "Take me home, Jamie! I want to go home!"


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Special thanks to Werks for the beta.**

Chapter Sixteen

"I know you want to go home, baby," Jamie crooned as he held a trembling Eddie in his arms. "I know you do, but I can't take you. We have to do this sweetheart. Okay? We have to get to the bottom of this and you will be so much better, I promise you that."

Jamie held her tight a few more minutes before Frank began to approach her. "Let's walk together you and I…" He was familiar with the technique the doctor was using and felt it might go better with him, someone who commanded her respect but also had her complete trust.

Slowly, Frank got Eddie to tell him about the girl walking down the street towards five rough boys in leather jackets, but she got stuck at the same place as she did with Dr. Schmidt. Frank sighed and rubbed her back, "You're doing great honey, now let's think…do you have a favorite director? One of mine is John Ford, he always seemed to show you what you needed to see right when you needed to see it. So let's just be directors for a minute, like Ford or Hitchcock. The scene we are filming is that night, the night that you were walking towards those boys. Can you see the girl now?"

Eddie shut her eyes and was sucked into a deep dark memory…

 _ **Fifteen Years Ago**_

 _ **"Here she is," Thomas Casey practically hissed as he saw Eddie, wearing a tunic sweater, jeans and a messy pony tail. "If I bag her then I'm in right?"**_

 _ **The other guys patted him on the back as he approached Eddie. "Hey, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to get a slice of pizza. You're really pretty and I thought we could hang out."**_

 _ **It was the lamest come on ever and Eddie felt more put off by him than usual as he made it. "No, I'm busy and I have to get home. Some other time." There nice and polite.**_

 _ **Thomas moved to get into her path, "No isn't an answer…" He reached out and grabbed at her arms. "We are going to spend some time together, having pizza first or not."**_

Frank felt Eddie's breath quicken and her body start to shake. "What's happening? What do you see?"

"They…are surrounding her, they are going to hurt her…" Eddie declared her voice shaking with fear and anguish. "She's scared, she's so scared…they are…he is pulling her hair…she's trying to run."

"Who is he, honey? Do you see his face?" Frank wanted this guy so bad he could taste it.

"I can't see him anymore, I don't know…" Eddie was getting very agitated. Jamie was watching with the doctor. "Is he hurting her by doing this?" he asked.

"No, his technique is very good, and if I think she's endangered I will step in. She's getting much closer to where we need her to be with him than she did with me. I'm ready to intervene if I need, but let him take her as far as he can."

Jamie relaxed a little hearing the doctor give this her blessing, his father would be careful and mindful of Eddie's needs.

"Move the camera in closer," Frank encouraged. "What is the girl doing now?"

 _ **Fifteen Years Ago**_

 _ **"Stop it!" Eddie demanded dropping her books and kicking her legs with all her might. "Let me pass!"**_

 _ **"There's a toll to use this road," Casey sneered. "And you're gonna pay up."**_

 _ **He pushed Eddie to the ground as his friends cheered. He stood, looming over her when she was on her feet, and now that she'd been knocked to the ground the fear was choking her as it rose from her chest. Casey dropped on top of her, he pulled at her sweater, yanking it off of her body. The concrete was cold beneath her back, and the ground cut her skin as Casey roughly yanked her forward. "Come here you little witch…" he hissed.**_

 _ **Eddie kicked her legs at him and bit down hard on his ear trying her best to stop the assault on her body. The other boys watched from the steps laughing and pointing. One had a Polaroid camera, he took photos of her flopping and struggling to keep Thomas Casey off of her.**_

 _ **Her pants came next, then her panties…she screamed and cried, kicking and clawing with all the strength she had in her small body. The pain when he forced himself inside was like nothing she ever experienced before. It was then she let out her most shrill cry…and immediately after her world went black as Thomas Casey grabbed her head between his hands and while squeezing slammed it into the ground with the full force of his weight.**_

Jamie started to run when Eddie started to scream. Dr. Schmidt grabbed his arm to keep him there. "She's remembering it now, I have to be there!"

"If you scare her now you'll do more damage, go slowly and wait for her to call out to you," she advised, and along with Jamie she approached her patient.

Eddie had both arms over her head as if trying to protect it from Thomas's blows. Jamie saw that she had been sick as he got closer. "Dad?"

Frank had tears in his eyes, and his calm face was etched with anger and pain for this girl he'd come to love. Eddie was sobbing so hard she was no longer able to stand up. She fell to her knees, arms now around her middle as she threw up again. Jamie didn't wait for permission this time as he approached and grabbed her.

"It's me, Eddie, it's Jamie," he told her as she started to fight him. "It's me honey, it's me. Ssh…Tell me what happened Eddie. Tell me what you remember."

Frank looked at his son, he knew Jamie had gone to see Eddie's father and that the older Janko had revealed the nature of Eddie's assault, but to see her remembering it herself had to be near torture on his youngest. He feared for the safety of Eddie's attacker if Jamie ever came in contact with him.

"Is this normal, how she is now?" Frank asked the doctor for confirmation.

"Yes it is normal, we must be very careful with her now, she can go inside herself and never be heard from again or she can rise above this and make her life matter, it all depends on what he does I'm afraid." She sighed as she watched Jamie trying to get Eddie to say the words.

"You can do this, babe, you are so strong…just tell me what happened. Tell me what you remembered," Jamie coaxed again rocking her in his arms as she shook and cried.

"He…he…" she hiccupped and gasped for breath. "He…" She finally looked up at Jamie. Her face was swollen from the tears and rubbed nearly raw. The only word he could use to describe her was shattered. The light was gone from her eyes, and in its place there was a hollow pain. She looked like a victim now in his arms, she looked like a hundred other victims only she wasn't. This was Eddie, his Eddie, he was going to get justice or revenge, he didn't know which.

"He what honey?" Jamie whispered brushing the hair off her face. "What did he do? Tell me."

"He raped me, Jamie," she finally choked out of her closed throat. "He raped me."

"Yes," Jamie sighed holding her closer in his arms. "Yes, he did. I am so sorry, Eddie. I'm so sorry."

Jamie rocked her on the ground holding her head to his chest. It was cool and her skin felt cold to the touch. "Dad can you bring the car, I want to get her back to the hotel. She's freezing, I think she's in shock."

Jamie was already removing his sweater to wrap around Eddie, before going to get the car, Frank did that same. She looked small in Frank's huge jacket. When the car arrived Jamie put Eddie inside then slid in beside her to hold her in his arms. Frank and the doctor rode up front, the only sound in the car was Eddie's occasional hiccup as she tried to get herself together.

Jamie held her hand as they went into the hotel, Frank was on her other side, holding her arm. She was shaking so badly, he was afraid they might end up taking her to the hospital. "What you need to do for her now," Dr. Schmidt coached, "Is let her have her feelings, whatever they are, and support her. IF she pushed you away Jamie, that's par for the course. She might attached to you, and not let go, that's normal too, every victim is different."

Jamie nodded lightly, "I will be whatever she needs me to be and if it gets out of hand we'll come get you. Thanks Doc."

Dr. Schmidt left them alone, Jamie laid down with Eddie on the bed. "Can I get you out of these clothes into something comfy? I have an old pair of my sweats and my NYPD sweatshirt, I can wrap you up warm and safe in there and let you get some rest."

Eddie nodded, not trusting her voice not to shake. Jamie helped her get into his old clothing and tucked the quilts around her before lying down on top of the covers with his arms around her. "Eddie, listen to me. Nothing that happened today or before today will change how I feel about you. I love you so much, I admire you for going through something this terrible and persevering even if you didn't remember. I am going to be here for you, all right? I promise you that, we are going to get through this together." HE kissed the back of her head and realized she'd fallen asleep as he made his declaration. She was mentally exhausted, he hoped having some answers would afford her a peaceful rest.

When Jamie came out of the bedroom, he found Frank with a glass of whiskey, "How is she?"

"She's asleep for now," Jamie dropped the entire glass in one shot. "We need to get Casey out of the precinct, Dad. You know I'd never ask this of you under any other…"

"It's done, it's already done," Frank assured him. "This time, Jamie…I'm a father first. Yours and hers if it comes to that."

Jamie's eye lit up and her smiled, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that…"


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Special thanks to Werks for the beta.**

Chapter Seventeen

"Jamie, I don't think you should propose, not right now," Frank replied. "She's just been through a terrible shock. A horrible shock and now is not the time…"

"Oh I know, I know," Jamie replied. "I just mean I've made the decision that I love Eddie and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. If we could get through this stuff and stay together, we can make it through everything."

Frank agreed that was probably true. "Well, you should try to get some rest while you can. We have no idea if remembering will cause her nightmares."

Jamie drank a second whiskey then headed to bed. He was surprised to find Eddie was awake just staring up at the ceiling. "Hey," he whispered softly.

"Hey," Eddie said smiling a little. "I was going to come out, but I heard you talking to your father. I know tonight wasn't easy on you either."

Jamie joined Eddie on the bed, "No, seeing you go through that was not easy at all. Still, I was glad I was there to support you, to take care of you. There was no place I'd have preferred to be."

Eddie reached out for Jamie's hand, "There's one part that I still don't understand. Why are you in the nightmare, Jamie? Why do I see you looming over us?"

"Well, that's a question for the doctor more than me, but I think maybe your subconscious was scared I would judge you, or think it was your fault. And it was not your fault, you did nothing wrong, you do believe that right?"

Eddie nodded, "I've been with enough victims to know that. It was their fault, but Jamie I don't think I can walk back in the precinct and face Casey after what he did to me. Charges are no longer an option but…"

Jamie kissed her head, "My father took care of that. As of yesterday, Thomas Casey was transferred to East Harlem, he won't be around the 12th anymore at all. I will have my say in that too. He will not get away with this; he will know that I know what he's done."

Jamie's jaw set firmly and Eddie traced it with her thumb. "Don't… don't be angry. It doesn't suit you."

"He raped you Eddie," Jamie sighed. "He raped you and I can't let him get away with it. Not with the woman I love. I love you, Eddie."

"I love you," Eddie said firmly kissing his lips softly. "I need you to do something for me. Can you fill in the blanks? From what my father said?"

"You basically remembered all you can," Jamie replied moving so he could put his arms around her. "He said that you were found unconscious by a custodian at the school and he called 911 and found out who you were to call your folks. When he smashed your head you had some swelling and fell into a coma. You were that way for about a week and when you came to…" Jamie sighed thinking of his Eddie lying there helpless in a hospital bed. "You were disoriented and had healed from the attack so they wanted to spare you the pain when you didn't seem to remember."

Eddie shut her eyes, "I guess they were just trying to protect me and it would have worked too if he never came to the 12th. Jamie… I need to see… I have to ask you to kiss me and touch me, I have to know if this memory will make it so I can't…"

Jamie cut her off with a soft kiss to her lips. He cupped her head in his hands and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "That's all I want to do tonight," he murmured. "When we make love I want it to be about us, not about this. Never about this. If you can't for a while, that is fine with me. I will still love you and I will be as patient as you need me to be." To reaffirm his love for her he kissed her deeply.

Eddie fell asleep snuggled in Jamie's arms. She slept peacefully the rest of the night as if her pain and fear had been washed away. She woke still feel tired and stiff. Jamie was still beside her, but she could hear Frank moving around in the other part of the suite. She slid out of bed and padded to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," Eddie greeted smiling. "Coffee smells good." It was awkward now knowing he'd been there when she had remembered her assault. "I uh, just wanted to say thank you for being there last night for me and Jamie. You helped me remember, now I can get along with my life."

"I'd love to say it was my pleasure, but no one should have to go through what you did," Frank said gently. "Have a cup of coffee, take one into Jamie. You two enjoy today together. I have to drive back to Brooklyn."

"What about family dinner?" Eddie asked. "We're excused?"

"You can be excused yes," Frank replied. "I think you need the time to get your head back on straight. This is not going to be easy, but know we are all here for you Eddie."

"Thank you, Frank," she replied softly. "I think we'll take you up on that if it's okay with Jamie." Eddie took two cups of coffee into the bedroom area. Jamie was just starting to wake up.

"Hey sleepy head," Eddie greeted offering him a cup of coffee. "I was just talking to your dad, and he suggested we stay on another day. What do you think?"

"Dad is letting us out of family dinner?" Jamie asked and Eddie nodded.

"Yes, he thinks we need some time to regroup and spend time together. I thought maybe we could go for a drive, have a nice dinner, and just enjoy one another." Eddie sipped her coffee and crossed her legs.

"Yes," Jamie replied kissing her temple. "I think we do need this time to cope and regroup."

"Next week we'll go to dinner," Eddie promised. "I know how much you enjoy it."

"Don't you?" Jamie asked wondering now if he had been forcing his family on her.

"Oh yes, but sometimes it's nice to be alone with you too," she replied. "Like now. I feel dirty and violated, I feel angry but I also feel such relief that I finally know."

"I do too, I'm relieved you know that we can face this together. I know it had to be so hard for you Eddie, but it was hard on me to watch you suffering and not be able to help you."

"You have helped me more than you could even know," Eddie whispered kissing his cheek. "Now we start to heal together. You went through this Hell with me and we'll get out of this together too."

When their coffee was done they decided to go to the diner for a late breakfast then a walk. Jamie watched Eddie for signs of trauma but found none. She was acting like the old Eddie before all of this happened. As they held hands and strolled around the little antique shops Jamie thought about their future and his father's words. Still he decided to feel it out.

"Eddie, did you ever think about how you'd like to decorate a house?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah, classic and modern," Eddie replied. "Sort of like my place now. Big comfy furniture, but modern twists…"

Jamie smiled, "I like that, too. I think you have great taste Eddie. I love the woman's touch you brought to my place. I really want to see that touch a lot more often." He blushed and hoped she reacted well.

"You will, Reagan," Eddie promised. "I have no doubt that you will."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Special thanks to Werks for the beta.**

Sorry for the short chapter, I have a little more planned for this story before beginning my next story.

Chapter Eighteen

Frank was nearly accosted by the entire family at Sunday dinner that week, especially when Jamie and Eddie did not come. "I told them to take the time alone," he replied. "After what she just went through I think a crowd is not at all what she needs."

"But we aren't a crowd, Francis," Henry piped up. "We're the girl's family now, or we will be once Jamie gets around to doing the right thing."

"He's going to do the right thing soon, Pop," Frank assured his father. "But I advised him to wait awhile until Eddie is feeling more like herself. If he does it now it will mar the pain she has to cope with, and a memory that should be happy will be tarnished by this whole thing too."

"That's so true," Erin added. "A proposal should be special. She shouldn't have it ruined by being linked to this horrible thing."

"How did Jamie handle it?" Danny wanted to know. "He had a really hard time accepting that she'd been hurt that way when we first found out."

"He was a solid rock for her, just as I expected him to be," Frank replied. "And thank you Danny for being there for him while he tried getting to the bottom of this for Eddie."

"Well, he's my kid brother, and he was suffering right along with her. Besides," Danny took a sip of his beer. "I like her. She's a good cop. She's strong to have survived this. She's good for Jamie. He's opened up a lot since he's met her."

"That's true. We'll have a new Reagan at this table very soon." Frank smiled, he was glad his youngest had found the other half of his heart.

Monday morning, Eddie got up and dressed for her tour. Jamie was worried about her going to work so soon after such a trauma. "Are you sure you can do this? Maybe I can ask Sarge if we can ride together for a couple of tours. I don't trust Reynolds with you right now. Maybe Walsh will ride with you?"

"Jamie, I am not a china doll. I can handle it. I don't want this to change how you see me. I am still a cop, and I am still the same person you fell in love with."

Jamie sighed and sat down on their bed, "Eddie, you aren't the same person I fell in love with. That person hadn't gone through what you have… I mean, you did but you had no recollection of it."

"You're right, but I refuse to be seen as weak Jamie. I have to get through this part, I have to not identify myself as a victim."

"Eddie," Jamie sighed but let it go. He hoped and prayed that he could talk to Reynolds, that if they got a rape call he would look out for Eddie. She'd kill him but he had no choice in the matter. He had vowed to keep her safe, to protect her, and that is what he was going to do.

They rode in together for their tour. Jamie kissed Eddie as she headed to the woman's locker room. As luck would have it, Eddie' partner was in the men's locker room when Jamie went in. "Reynolds, can I have a word with you. It's about Eddie."

"She's a good cop, Reagan. We get on fine," Reynolds replied.

"No, this is different. She has a really rough couple of days, some stuff from the past that came back to haunt her. Nothing she did, it was done to her. I need you to keep an eye on her, if you think she's having a hard time, give me a call and I'll try to come." Reynolds was confused. "Did someone hurt her?"

Jamie sighed, "A long time ago and lately she's only dealing with it. How did you know?"

"The way she reacts when we get domestics or women assaulted, she always acts emotionally, not from a cop's place. I back her up. You might not like me, but I have her back. You gave it to me good for Walsh, you think I'm going to mess around with your girl?"

Jamie had to laugh at that one. "She's a good woman, she didn't deserve what happened to her. No one does."

Reynolds clapped Jamie's arm, "I'll keep my eye on her all right?"

Jamie thanked his former adversary and got himself dressed for the tour.

He needn't have worried about Eddie that day. She made him proud handling herself as a solid NYPD officer. When he saw her at the end of the tour laughing with Reynolds he smiled. As soon as they were out of uniform he found her and took her in his arms.

"Are you okay? You seem like you did very well out there."

"Two robbery collars, not bad in a day's work," Eddie replied. "Don't be such a worrywart, I'm fine."

"Let's go get some dinner," Jamie suggested. "Then maybe we'll get another good night's sleep." He kissed her head. "I love you baby, you know that."

Eddie did know it and she would need that love in the days to come.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Special thanks to Werks for the beta.**

Chapter Nineteen

"Come on, Danny!" Jamie encouraged. "Just a quarter mile more and that's it."

Danny gritted his teeth and pushed through the pain in his knee as he struggled to finish the last bit of his mile run. As he crossed the finish line Jamie had made with a water bottle. His brother hit the stopwatch. "Almost, ten seconds shy of the eight minutes…"

Danny was soaked in sweat and breathing hard. "I only have two more weeks," he sighed.

"Or you could look at it as, I still have two more weeks!" Jamie directed. "You couldn't even walk a mile three weeks ago, you're doing great. Those range of motion exercises are working. You'll get your clearance and be riding with Baez and getting suspended in no time."

Danny just laughed that off and limped to the bleacher to suck down a bottle of water. Jamie tossed him a towel to wipe off the perspiration on his face. "If we keep at this you'll do it Danny. I know you will."

"Between you and Baez, I'll be fit if nothing else," Danny replied. "She nearly broke me in two at the gym earlier. At least I can still shoot circles around her."

"You can shoot circles around most people, except Dad," Jamie laughed. "No one can out shoot him."

Danny laughed, "That's the truth, but you did a pretty good job at that union meeting. I read you dropped the guy right between the eyes."

"Nothing to be proud of, I just did my job. The man was troubled, but he was going to kill innocent people."

"And you did what you had to do… that was the right thing Jamie," Danny replied. "You good? Did you talk it out with Eddie?"

"No, Eddie has her own problems right now. She is trying to hide it, but she's still reeling from remembering all of that stuff." Jamie took a long sip of his water.

Danny and Jamie gathered their things and headed for the car. Danny stretched his bad leg out to avoid limping too much. As they walked Jamie's phone rang, "It's Eddie, I bet she wants food." He picked it up, "Hey, babe…" He stopped midway through. "Eddie, what happened? Are you alright?" Danny stopped walking and looked at Jamie questioningly.

Jamie hung up, "Come with me to the apartment? Eddie went out to go on her tour and her tires were slashed and the word SLUT as spray painted on her car. She's really upset. There are two units out there now."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get moving." Danny was itching to be back in the saddle.

Jamie hit the gas and got home in about twenty minutes. Eddie was on the porch with Reynolds and two other cops he recognized from the twelfth. Reynolds was rubbing Eddie's arm, and Jamie was happy to see him supporting his partner. Jamie ran up to Eddie and took her into his own arms, "Are you okay? Did you see anyone?"

"No, I went to get into the car to drive to work and my tires were flat. It's pretty obvious they were cut. And then there was the paint."

Reynolds looked at Danny and Jamie, "We'll start canvassing now that you're here. I didn't want to leave her alone if someone is targeting her. It might be random or a case of mistaken identity, but we don't know for sure."

Jamie nodded, "I've got her now, thanks. Danny, can you…" He didn't even have to ask. Danny picked up his phone and called his partner. In no time flat she was there as well to begin examining Eddie's car for evidence along with a CSU van.

"It's him," Eddie confessed to Jamie once he had her inside and seated on the sofa with a cup of tea. "I know it's him. He somehow thinks I am responsible for his transfer. He's mean, and he's vindictive, you don't know him."

"No, I don't know him like you," Jamie agreed. "But Eddie, he's already been transferred to one of the hardest beats we have. What good would this do?"

"No good, Jamie," Eddie replied. "That sob raped me and left me for dead, do you honestly think he has a moral or rational bone in his body? He's probably a cop for the power trip, not for helping anyone. I know Thomas Casey did this, and we have to prove it."

Jamie knew there was no talking to Eddie when she was in this mood. He nodded his head and agreed to help her. When Danny knocked on the door a few minutes later, Eddie shared her theory with him. "Well the building across the way has security cameras, so Baez is working on getting the footage and see if we got a movie of this creep. If it is Casey we'll get him, if it's someone else, we'll get them too. In the meantime, mention this to Dad, maybe TARU…"

"No," Eddie said quickly. "If this is isolated I don't want to be making a fuss. I called it in, and you are investigating now, so we'll see. Jamie doesn't like to use his hook at one PP and I won't either. It's not fair to keep using that pull. We used it to get Casey out of the 12th, not again."

Jamie sighed, "She's stubborn as the two of us put together. Thanks for helping Danny, I'll see you tomorrow for another run. He almost made it tonight, we are so close to having you be back in the field with us."

"That is great news," Eddie replied smiling. "When you pass the fitness evaluation the beer's on us. I mean it."

She gave Danny a warm hug and a thank you. Meanwhile, Reynolds and the other cops had finished their canvas. It hadn't turned up much of anything. "I don't care if she is Reagan's girl, she's my partner. No one messes with my partner and gets away with it."

"What are you going to do? It was probably just some punky kid."

"You don't know everything, okay?" Reynolds replied. "And I can't say much cause I'll have Reagan up on my butt again, but Eddie went through some rough stuff in her teens and she's doing it again now. My gut says whoever is doing this knows about that and is trying to hurt her on purpose. If they are, Reagan better stand in line when we find them."

The little crowd dispersed and went their separate ways. Inside the apartment, Jamie cleaned and loaded both his off duty piece and Eddie's, leaving both weapons in easy reach. "If anyone tried anything…." He whispered pulling her close. Since she remembered she didn't have a single nightmare, and he prayed that would be the case as he felt her drift to sleep knowing for at least this moment, she was safe.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from Blue Bloods or the use of their characters. Special thanks to Werks for the beta.**

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Jamie paced outside the boardroom where Danny's reinstatement hearing was being conducted. The brothers had worked nearly nonstop getting Danny ready for the intense physical review he would have to endure to be restored to duty. Jamie knew his brother bled NYPD blue. He also knew that his heart would be crushed if he was denied the ability to return.

After nearly an hour, Danny finally emerged. He had asked for Jamie to be there and only Jamie. It felt strange; they weren't usually that close, but if Danny specifically asked for him to come here that day, he would be here with bells on.

"Well," Jamie asked holding his breath. "How did it go?"

Danny couldn't help but smile, "I'm back, Kid. I am back."

Jamie embraced his brother with more force than he ever thought possible. "I knew it, I knew we could do it!" Jamie appeared to be even more excited than Danny.

"Yes, we did it. I'm on a desk for the next month then I'll be back to full duty. I couldn't have done it without you and Linda… you two were my rocks through all of this." Danny's voice cracked a little.

"Well, you and I are gonna go get a beer, and it's on me. Just let me text Eddie, tell her the good news and we'll go down to the pub."

Jamie shot Eddie a happy text, "He's back!" it read, with a smiley face. "Beers at Crowley's, meet us?"

Eddie texted back, "Yes, don't tell him anything I will meet him there."

Jamie smiled, and they headed to the pub to celebrate. "Two pints of Stout," Jamie requested. "To Danny," Jamie said when the beers were served. "That stubborn streak finally paid off."

Danny clinked his glass with Jamie then they drank their beers. Eddie arrived ten minutes later and ordered a margarita. "How was it today, babe?" Jamie asked.

"Fine, the guys are all being a little protective after the tire thing," Eddie sighed. "Seems the entire precinct thinks Casey was the one behind it. Though if he was, wouldn't he have tried a little harder when he realized I wasn't even affected?"

Jamie sighed, "Perhaps he got scared off when every officer in the 12th started to stick up for you. And now you'll have Danny in the field to check up on things too."

Eddie smiled, "I'm so happy for you Danny," she replied. "Really I am, you two worked so hard. Linda must be ecstatic."

"Linda wasn't sure if she wanted me reinstated or not," Danny confessed. "She was pretty spooked."

"Yeah, I guess I could see that," Eddie said smiling at Jamie. "If something happened to Jamie like that, I don't know if I could go on living." She rubbed Jamie's arm and smiled at him.

"Don't jinx it," Jamie whispered. "I am safe, you are safe… we are healing from your ordeal, everything is going to be fine. Things are turning around for all of us." Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head.

Danny smiled, "I'll drink to that, to trials, to triumph, and to improving my relationship with my kid brother more than I ever thought I could. Here's to the silver lining around this cloud." They clinked glasses, and each enjoyed a second drink.

Later that night, Danny and Linda sat in their bedroom talking. "So I'm on a desk for a few more weeks then back in the field. I worked hard for this, babe."

Linda sighed, "I know you did, Danny. I know you worked hard and I know how much it means to you. I don't want to stand between you and being a cop, but this was just a little too close Danny."

"I know it was," Danny sighed. "And I will definitely be more careful, babe. I promise you this." He held her tight, "Thank you for supporting me in this Lin. I couldn't have done this without you and Jamie, I really couldn't have done it."

Linda kissed him softly, "I love you, Danny. I just want you to be safe. I don't know if I can see you in a hospital bed again, I don't."

Danny held his wife tighter than he could ever remember doing. She was his life partner, his one and only. He took a deep breath, "Lin, if you ask… I'll say yes."

"I won't ask you Danny," Linda replied. "Not after you worked so hard. I won't ask you, not yet."

He smiled into her lips as he kissed her, "I love you," Danny murmured.

"Love you more," Linda replied lying back on their bed as Danny proved his love for her in a way he hadn't been able to for many months.

Across a few bridges and tunnels, Jamie and Eddie had just finished demonstrating their love in much the same way. The part of their relationship had changed since Eddie remembered her attack. It was even more expressive and free than before. Jamie held her in his arms, stroking her back. "You smell incredible," he sighed. "You know when I smell lavender now I immediately think about getting you into our bed?"

Eddie laughed, "I have the same thought when you shower with Irish Spring. Thank God Reynolds only buys that when it's on sale because otherwise I would be thinking about that every tour."

Jamie had to laugh at that one, "Well, I think I want you thinking about being safe on tour. If I need to switch soaps…" He laughed and tickled her sides.

Eddie threw her head back and laughed pulling Jamie close, she opened her arms to him and began to kiss him again. "I love you," Jamie whispered into her ear, his breath tickling hers. "I love you so much." He rolled off of her and pulled open the drawer.

It was still there and this moment it felt right. He pulled out the small velvet box and turned back to Eddie. "I have a gift for you…"

Eddie's eye fell on the velvet box and her breath caught, "Jamie?"

He slid out of bed, pulling on his robe before he knelt by her side. "I planned to do this over a romantic dinner or in Central Park but then I realized that just isn't us. We are pizza and beer, darts and pretzels, making love and pillow talk. It feels only right now so.." Jamie took a deep breath and opened the box revealing a gorgeous square cut diamond ring. "I'm going to ask you now. Edit Janko, will you be my wife?"


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: This is it for this piece folks. There will be one final installment in this trilogy to come in 2016. I have a few other stories that are in the works I will publish first. It just seemed a natural ending to me with the proposal. Next installment will deal with the wedding plans and bringing down Casey. Thanks for reading!

Eddie stared at Jamie in shock. He was on one knee, holding her hand and offering her the most beautiful ring. She did not imagine this moment this way with both of them half-dressed but here it was. She didn't know how long she sat there before Jamie chuckled, "You want to give me an answer, I'm getting a little nervous."

Eddie leapt from the bed and threw her arms around Jamie's neck, "Yes…" she declared. "Yes, I will be your wife." Jamie held her tight and kissed her lips. "I was hoping you'd say that."

He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her hand. "That looks perfect there."

Eddie smiled up at him, "I feel perfect here. I love you so much and I could not be happier."

Jamie kissed her deeply, "This calls for a celebration. I got some nice bubble bath the other day…and some wine. You get the glasses and I will start the water."

When Eddie entered the bathroom with two wine glasses, the room smelled of lavender and lemongrass. Jamie had lit candles and was already in the hot water. He was more than ready to welcome Eddie into his arms. She removed her robe and stepped into the warm water sinking down and lying back in Jamie's arms.

He settled his arms around her and hugged her, "You will make the perfect Mrs. Reagan. There is so much of you that reminds me of my mother, you are strong, smart, a little sassy…"

Eddie smiled at the comparison to his mother. Jamie held her in high esteem and it warmed her heart that he thought of her that way. She picked up one of his hands and kissed it. "Jamie…I'm so happy," she whispered. "I'm scary happy. After everything I finally feel things are going okay, that we'll all be okay."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her head and enjoyed the feel of her in his arms. Suddenly she turned in the water and puffed some bubbles at him.

Jamie laughed at her antics, slowly she was becoming his old fun loving Eddie. The girl he though was the pretties female cop on the force since day one, the girl that held him when he cried over Danny, the girl her fell in love with. He had missed this side of her and was so glad it was resurfacing.

The next morning, Jamie took Eddie for waffles at her favorite diner. He laughed as she piled on strawberries, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. After, Jamie and Eddie stopped by the family home to tell Frank and Henry the good news. Jamie and Eddie arrived holding hands, "Dad, you home?" he called out. It was a Saturday.

"In the den, Jamie!" Frank called out. "Everything okay?"

Jamie led Eddie to the den with a huge smile across his face. "Everything is more than okay, Dad. Where's Grandpa, we want to show him too."

"Show him?" Frank asked calling Henry to the room. Eddie looked like she was about to burst with excitement. Henry came into the den from the bedroom. "Where's the fire?" he asked.

Eddie couldn't wait another second, this was her family now. She held out her left hand proudly showing off the beautiful ring that Jamie has bestowed upon her the previous night. He slid an arm around her shoulders. "I asked Eddie to marry me, and she said yes."

Frank smiled ear to ear as Henry hurried to hug his new granddaughter. "Congratulations, it's about time. I knew since Danny was in the hospital this was going to be a silver lining on that black cloud."

Jamie accepted hugs and back slaps from his father and grandfather. Things really did seem to be coming full circle. Danny was reinstated, he was engaged to Eddie…she hadn't has a bad dream or scary incident. He looked down at Eddie, she was smiling, beaming actually. His pretty girl…with her blonde hair and sassy attitude. She was his now, forever to protect and comfort…soon she would be Mrs. Jamison Reagan…he couldn't wait for that day.


End file.
